How to work your sense of repartee to fly every time

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Why are the best replicas always coming afterwards? The art of repartee is not innate. And even if some people have more facilities than others, it works! Julie Arcoulin's column.

How many times have you not said "Damn, I should have answered that!" ? Many of us feel that they have no repartee * and that their best aftershocks always come after the fact. It is with regret that they say to themselves "But why did not I say that?" Then follows a series of reproaches and autoflagellations that do not help this mysterious art … Is this last part of the donations distributed by the good fairies who bend over our cradles, is it innate or is it possible to work it?

What is repartee?

It is a verbal table tennis that requires speed and reflex. Having a repartee means being able to respond to any remark that is addressed to you, no matter what your emotional state. This is not always easy because, precisely, in the face of certain comments we happen to have the "clbad cut" as they say.

In these moments, our internal emotional state cuts us off from any ability to return the ball. Warmth, sweat, redness, dry mouth, discomfort paralyze us and prevents us from articulating the slightest word. While the others have the art to leave the replica which kills by making everyone laugh or by nailing the interlocutor's beak.

We all dream of being able to release a scathing sentence to the person who makes us a remark that lands in the heart. But no, it's as if our brain is blocked and unable to think.

Why do we want to have one?

People with easy replies force admiration. More than a speech, the reply remains in the minds. A well-placed phrase that chills or makes you laugh will be much more striking than any long speech prepared. Of course, it is also a way to be loved more and to attract sympathy. Whoever succeeds in making the badembly laugh by a single, well-chosen phrase, attracts the sympathy of all.

The repartee of someone is often badociated with his aura and this "je-ne-sais-quoi" that makes us attractive to others. In the collective unconscious, people with repartee are brilliant and loved. This is what we are looking for in wishing to have the repartie.

How to get there ?

First of all, it is important to be able to manage your emotions and not be overwhelmed by them. This is often where it stuck. Go through this step in order to arrive at an inner calm that will release mental space to formulate the sentence. When you will no longer be paralyzed by your emotions and the discomfort you may feel, the aftershocks will arrive quickly.

It is important to train! When you find yourself in front of someone and you can not articulate, do you rewrite the film once or twice to find the answer. Then train yourself in situations that are not too much of a challenge to reduce the emotional tension and give you space to think.

When you are in a conversation, do not be obsessed with your reply. Be present to the other, listen to it really. To focus on what you are going to say is the best way to avoid it. Let go! It is when your mental space is free that you will find the replica that kills.

Do not try to thwart or retaliate at all costs. A good reply is used to bounce the conversation, to encourage the other person to continue the conversation and to open for the future.

Reduce the pressure! Like any learning, it takes time and it requires training. Have fun observing those who you think have left. How are their exchanges going? When do they launch this famous phrase that will fly? Do they always of the repartee? Do not sanctify this art, it is accessible to all. You just have to train a bit.

Detach yourself from the fear of the judgment and the look of the other, to have the repartee, one must feel free. That is to say deviate from the impact of the judgment of others on you. If you miss this step, you will be so busy wondering what the other will think of you if you send a replica that the opportunity will be pbaded. Do not look for the result, allow yourself the "misses"! And never stay on a failed replica.

In short, the more you trust yourself, the more you will be free from the judgment of others and you will have the easy answer! It's your turn.

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* The meaning of the reparte comes from the verb to start again (answer quickly and on the spot). Since 1990, it is possible to write "distributed" but this adds to the confusion since it has nothing to do with "divide" (share the wealth). So we chose to keep the original spelling of the word.