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Young Mother Tells the Trauma of Not Knowing Her Child's Father
A 24-year-old single mother of a toddler a year decided to put the name of a father at random on his child's birth certificate because she does not know the real names of the baby's father.
The only known identity of the unemployed young Lotlhakane woman in the southern district is the nickname of the man. soldier based at the Glenvalley Barracks in the capital Gaborone
She did not want her baby to be perceived as an orphan, "so she invented a man's name for the birth certificate."
"I want to be able to tell my child who is her real father.I want her to know him, but I do not know his real names." * Nelly (not his real name) explained.
Recounting her heartrending story, the young mother whose name was changed to protect the child's identity said that she was working as a maid in the place of Phiring when she was met his secret lover.
"I met him on the road on my way home with the child of my school boss in the afternoon. He stopped his car and m & # 's Asked my phone number that I gladly gave her, "she says.
From there, they started exchanging love messages through their mobile phones and before she started. being ready to be a mother, she was pregnant
"We only slept twice at his home in Glen Valley and got pregnant," she explains.
The first time, she told the soldier that she was pregnant, he advised her to terminate the pregnancy and offered to pay the medical note.
"He wanted me to do an abortion in the back court. I lied to him that I was going to do it even though I knew I would never do such a thing. However, he never gave me the money promised for abortion. I had the intention to keep it in order to buy baby clothes with, "the woman added.
From that point on, the soldier started to play hide-and-seek. She later had to learn that he was married.
"I used different setswana polite sentences to tell him that I was expecting his child. I told him: "Ke imile, ke mo mmeleng, ke itsholofetse", but he always avoided me as a plague. Sometimes, when we met by chance, he gave me P200 and disappeared after promising to do things right, "says Nelly again.
Now tired of waiting, with her baby aged one year, she approached Real Lives and asked him story to tell. Above all, she wanted to know the true identity of her baby dad.
When asked why she was not following the legal route, or if she knew her nickname and her mobile numbers, she expressed her fear and sometimes intimidated her.
"When I talk to my friends, they say I should pursue him, but I do not want to take that road and force him to see his child. I'm scared that he might do something bad to her from resentment, although I wish he could want to see her. "She said before adding that,
" I want him to want to see and take care of his child. All I want is to know his true identity, that is, his full names and his home village. I only see it on Facebook. "
The man whose identity was discovered by this publication denied ever having slept with Nelly and said she did not know the woman at all.
More than 50% of abused women- Study [19659005] Nelly is one of 67% of women in Botswana who have experienced some form of gender-based violence.
According to the Ministry of Nationality, Immigration and Gender, Many cases of abuse are not reported.When on Tuesday signing of a joint gender program with Botswana, UN Resident Coordinator Jacinta Barrins said that the UN would sponsor the government program to combat gender, violations of the year 2018 to 2020.
The abuses to which it alludes include physical, badual, emotional or mental injuries or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion and other deprivations of liberty.
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