Surviving the loss of a husband

Young widow speaks

At age 24, Potso Lopang is married with his best friend, Tinaye Victor Lopang, and had three children with him.

The young woman could not be happier. Tinaye was his dream man

He was older so ripe, loving and overall a great person, just as Potso had imagined that his prince would be charming.

At such a young age, Lopang was a free and fresh mind

As a younger, his family was worried about his great decision to be harnessed, but being strong about his work. mind and determined, Potso wanted to be Mrs. Lopang. father and although I came from a loving and supportive family, my husband was my rock. To tell the truth, I was like his firstborn. He did everything for me and played both the roles of father and mother for our children. I never had to worry about our family needs because he took care of everything, "she says

Potso happily ally after the sudden death of Tinaye in June 2016, as a result of a short illness

. In the space of a month, we were confronted with the devastating news of the diagnosis of leukemia and he was quickly admitted to the hospital. Never the only one to worry, Tinaye rebadured me that everything was going to be okay. After spending a few days at the hospital, he had good and bad days while chemotherapy cost him his life. Even then he remained determined to get better so I also tried not to panic. "

However, the day he died, he insisted that his family not visit him at the hospital because he wanted to rest.

In the company of his family, Lopang returned to Gaborone of Pretoria

It was then that I Potso incredibly sick and obsessed with the need to reach her husband, but to no avail, in retrospect, she now realizes that no one knew how to announce the news of her pbading to her. "Nobody was ready," said Potso

The following weeks were a complete nightmare for the young woman.

"I could not understand what was happening and did not believe that my Tinaye was gone. How would I cope with life and raise our young children? I fell into a deep hole and did not know how to get out. To this day, I do not remember everything that happened leading to the funeral of Tinaye. I was physically but not emotionally strong to handle all this.
As the family plans to unveil, Potso is again feeling emotionally as if she should once again worry about her pbading away. I am overwhelmed and not confident to give direction to how I want this meaningful event to happen. Worse still, I can not even remember the details of the burial, so it's like I'm planning a funeral, "she says.

Life has been tough since Tinaye's death, reveals Lopang. a husband "width =" 720 "height =" 460 "srcset =" https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-Lopang.jpg 720w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp -content / uploads / 2018/07 / Potso-Lopang-350×224.jpg 350w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-Lopang-600×383.jpg 600w, https: // thevoicebw .com / wp-content / uploads / 2018/07 / Potso-Lopang-657×420.jpg 657w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-Lopang-640×409.jpg 640w, https : //thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-Lopang-681×435.jpg 681w "sizes =" (max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px "/>

] "My first counseling sessions seemed hopeless because I refused to share my feelings.The counselor advised that to heal, I should break the silence.I did not know where to start." Lopang says she was lucky to have been introduced to other people who had experienced similar situations and had lost their partners. [1965] 9010] "Until now, I did not know anyone of my age. lost a partner. So when people say, "It'll be fine," I thought, but how? Nothing pleased me and I was frustrated and overwhelmed.

Prailing her family and her friends and colleagues for their support, she said, "They stayed by my side even when things were going badly. Often people would judge and involve my family about how they felt I was going to be in mourning, but the family allowed me to have grief, "she said, before dying. warn that there was no prescribed formula. I have gone through all kinds of emotions, including times when I hurt myself by drinking alcohol and abusing prescription medications. I was often sick and I thought I would be better off as suicide crossed my mind. Until then, I had been a selfish person who thought only of herself. For support, she joined a prayer group of women who suffered the loss and thanks to that it was comforting to hear the details of the losses of others that made her realize that, although hurt, d & # 39; Others had

Two years later, his bereaved wife still tries to comfort herself in all the memories that she and her husband have built.

"It was difficult to explain to the children that their father would never come back, and we have to move on without him, and important occasions like children's birthdays arouse emotions but I feel better." She says [19659022] Surviving the loss of a husband ” width=”720″ height=”460″ srcset=”https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-and-her-daughters.jpg 720w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-and-her-daughters-350×224.jpg 350w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-and-her-daughters-600×383.jpg 600w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-and-her-daughters-657×420.jpg 657w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-and-her-daughters-640×409.jpg 640w, https://thevoicebw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Potso-and-her-daughters-681×435.jpg 681w” sizes=”(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px”/>

Throughout this experience, Lopang learned she is resilient.

"I had none idea because I've always done a lot for me, but now I'm taking pieces and rebuilding my life. "

When asked about dating and remarriage, Potso He laughed and said, "My advisor often reminds me to stop building a world of belief that basically makes me fantasize about how life would be if my husband was alive. Even my description of an ideal man to date reflects that of my late Tinaye. For now, my concern is to raise our children and treat each day as best as possible.

Lopang's Counseling the Loss

• Be Open to Professional Counseling
• Share Your Feelings with Those Around You
• Be aware of self-sabotage, for example by isolating people
• Do not abuse drugs, for example prescribed drugs and alcohol
• Create new memories for you and your children