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Diane Reeve did not expect to regain love after the dissolution of her 18-year marriage. But in 2002, when I was 50, it happened. However, it turned out that his new partner, Philippe Padieu, was sleeping with other women and transmitting the HIV virus. It's her story told by herself.
"I had more or less abandoned love, but a few people convinced me that I was too young for that and that I had to go back to the market." To use online dating applications. The experience was pretty brutal and I was about to give up when I got a message from Philippe. "
It was brief: "I love your profile, I would like to meet you", but that even puzzled me. He was French and handsome and I thought, well, one last time and now.
We met at my martial arts school – he was also a martial arts artist – then we went to a nearby restaurant and we had drinks and snacks, we sat for an hour and talked. I was fascinated and imagined that it was the same.
He told me good stories and told me a lot about him. It was refreshing because normally it is the opposite, the woman is talking all the time and I found it exhausting.
This first appointment interested me a lot, but I did not know how he felt the same thing. But suddenly, he made an insinuating comment and I thought "oh, okay, he's interested," and then we started going out a little together.
Philippe was a security badyst for a large company, but he was fired for a year to start dating. While I was looking for a job, I asked him to help me at school.
When I taught, we left together after work and spent the night together. We had talked about not going out with other people since the beginning of the relationship so we saw each other three or four times a week and the rest of the time I was busy with my school.
I was happy, ] He was happy, good and we had been together for four and a half years.
Disenchanting
In 2006, my daughter was getting married and we had a big ceremony.
Philippe was there – he took a video of the big occasion and we were all going to a family dinner later. But then he called me from his phone and said that he could not come because he was not feeling well.
He did not call from his home phone, which made me suspect, and I was furious because the Dinner was very important to me.
I went there alone, but on my way home I thought I would go to Philippe's to see how bad the poor guy was sick and could not come to dinner with his family. [19659015] The door was closed, the house was dark and his car was not there. I sat at the door and I've been crying for a long time. Then I started to get angry.
While I was paying his cellphone bills, I could hear his voice messages. Two different women had left him messages, and it was obvious that it was about women with whom he had plans.
I waited an hour and a half longer, then I finally saw him appear around the corner.
Seeing my car immediately accelerated – I knew something was happening – so I followed him down the streets of the neighborhood until he was finally on the road. # 39; highway. I was going at 145 km / h and I was just behind. I thought, "I can chase you all night, I have the tank full".
Finally, he left. I screamed and accused him of deceiving me. He said "you should not have gone into my voicemail!" So we quarreled. I was so angry that he started to hit the car and it scared me, so I decided that it was the end.
We broke on a Saturday. The following Monday, I went for a medical examination and, when the results were reported to us, cells of the cervix revealed abnormalities.
It was said that it was the papillomavirus . I had never had one before, so I knew it had happened. It shocked me and made me afraid: they had to operate to remove these cells and I did not know if it would become a cancer.
I was wondering if I should warn the other two women. I checked nine months of Philippe's phone records. I called the different numbers and when a woman answered me, I asked her: "Do you see Philippe Padieu?" And if they answered in the affirmative, he answered: "Well, I have to talk to you."
I found nine other women
One call
Some were angry, others had hung up, others were very interested and some were grateful: I had all kinds of answers .
A woman who I saw Philip and lived near him so angry that we decided to meet two other women. We had a very interesting meal, comparing the impressions, and we took a picture making an obscene gesture that we then sent him. 19659007 Another man I contacted later. We are in a small jazz bar. She had seen Philippe three times a week for about a year and a half
I did not have an exclusive relationship with him, but I expected that to happen, I believe. I told him everything that had happened: how romantic things had been for years, that we were building a house, that we were going to live together when we broke up.
I told him about the papilloma virus and still having medical problems.
He listened very carefully to what I told him.
I said, "It's your decision and if you want to keep seeing it, it's your business" and I thought it would be the last time we would see.
Three months later, they called me from the Ministry of Health and gave me an examination. I panicked because I had many health problems, in addition to the result of abnormal cells.
I had saved Philippe's cell phone in case someone would call and I could warn them. I watched it again after contacting the Ministry of Health and realized that the last person I phoned was the woman I met at the jazz bar.
I called to tell him: to call the health department, what can you tell me about it? "
He uttered three words that I will never forget: we have to talk about it."
She had continued to see Philippe after my meeting but had decided to leave after that. 39, worrying about badually transmitted diseases and had gone for tests.
Her doctor had called her to tell him that she had told him bad news. He had HIV. [19659038] His daughter was married in 2006 and Philippe went to the ceremony Photo: DIANE REEVE
At that time, I knew that everything that had happened at the past six months was worrying, his health problems were insufficient, all I had allocated to make me age a little more, all these pieces of the puzzle were square and I knew then what I was facing [19659007ThenextdayIhadanappointmentwithmygynecologistandtheytookmesomeAfewdayslatertheycalledmewiththeresults "Diane, I'm sorry. It's Positive" I dropped the phone and I knelt down. I thought I was going to die. I did not follow news about HIV closely. I remembered the lack of treatment and I knew that there were treatments today, but I did not really know how effective they were. And I knew that I was very very sick . That happened in January 2007. When I went to do other tests, I discovered that had AIDS. This means that your immune system is damaged to the point that you are vulnerable to any disease. Your body does not defend itself because the virus has damaged the cells that are fighting against the infection. ] I had health insurance because I was an independent worker; Two months after the diagnosis, he had changed his policy. And at the end of the new policy, there was an exclusion: " Know that we do not cover HIV" that I signed without problems because I knew I did not have HIV. did not have HIV. Two months later, I knew that I really knew it. So I had insurance that did not cover HIV and the treatment cost about US $ 2,000 a month, so I could not afford it. to permit. Almost immediately after receiving the results, I went to therapy. I needed help to handle things. I was very depressed, scared and angry or even homicidal. I decided to talk to the woman I had already met at the jazz bar. We cry together and we get angry together. When she was diagnosed, she immediately phoned Philippe to warn him. And he said, "Hey, it's not so bad either, everyone dies of something, why do not you continue your life and do not leave me alone?" This was a very strange reaction from someone who should have been shocked. We suspect that Philippe had infected us We asked for information and a few weeks after my diagnosis, we filed a police report A strange reaction
The police were very empathetic and understanding, but she said that since we were only two, we could not do it.
But if four or five other women spoke, they may have gone to the attorney for a look.
We went back to the telephone records. The first person I called was the one who lived in the Philippe neighborhood I had met before. He was tested and was also diagnosed with HIV.
He helped us by watching the house and noting the number plates of the cars stopped at Philippe's house at night.
We were very busy because he was spending every night with a different woman, it was amazing.
I had a friend who could find names and addresses through license plates and we went to visit them once.
In total, we found 13 women with HIV.
I was devastated because it had been going on for so long. I had been seeing Philip since 2002, but some of the women I spoke with had predicted, and with a different car every night at the doors of his house, many women had been exposed.
the police department and the prosecution began to intervene.
In an attempt to prove that Philip knew that he had been diagnosed, the police organized what is called a telephone pretense .
I sat down. at the police station and I called him to try to make him admit that he knew that he was living with HIV.
He said, "How did you get this number?" And from there, the situation deteriorated.
I said, "Hey, I heard that you did not feel very well and asked how you were going.", And he suspended me.
A woman in the health department helped us find the women. I asked him if he had already seen it, but it did not sound good.
Then I remembered that Philippe sometimes used a pseudonym, Phil White's name, and she remembered it. The period during which she had seen him was more or less the same as the one in which I remembered having sent him to the doctor because he had the impression of having kidney stones. .
I thought, "I wonder if it was at that time." they diagnosed. "
It was in 2005. A year and a half before our breakup .I had gone to the doctor and I had pbaded exams.
I had paid for it. treatment, so I recovered these checks and took them to the attorney: it was the first time that I saw her smile.
"Probable cause" to ask for your medical history, then he l & # 39; Otherwise, it would have been very difficult, if not impossible, to obtain them because of the privacy laws, and that's how we proved that it had been diagnosed with HIV
Of the 13 women diagnosed with HIV, only five agreed to testify because of the stigma badociated with the virus.
We have created a group of outien and we are regularly at home. We lived all this together.
One of the reasons for all this was that the state of Texas was paying for medical treatment if the harm resulted from a crime and that Philip was being sued for "badault with a weapon". a deadly weapon ".
Finding a woman has been a long process, five or six months. We watched almost every day of the week.
It was exhausting – I was still with AIDS – but we were determined to stop it from doing it at another.
Trial and sentence
The trial finally began in 2009, three years after the separation of Philippe and me and two years of my diagnosis
The prosecutor had warned us that any dirty clothes that Philippe had on we would be shared in public. Although I was prepared there, I did not know that I was going to be as brutal as that: I was at the booth for an hour, but I was putting it back.
After the sentence, we gathered all our friends and family and celebrated, because we knew that I could not hurt anyone else.
Philippe never badumed his responsibility. He said it was that I had infected everyone with HIV, which was obviously nonsense. We found a woman in Michigan who had transmitted the virus in 1997.
We also conducted a very rigorous DNA study that showed that the virus that was in each of us had a common origin, and Philippe we had in
I suspect that he had been transmitting HIV to women knowingly for years before meeting him and that the 2005 diagnosis was not the first.
I had difficulties with forgiveness, but I am at peace because, honestly, when life gave me lemons, I made lemonade.
But one of the things that I feel most about what Philippe did for me and the other women is that it destroyed my confidence and that makes relationships very difficult.
I'm coming to the end, but it's a difficult process.
I am very lucky to have good relationships with someone who understands me and who loves me and who accepts me.
We started to see each other in 2008 and in the second I told him about it. I started crying and he took me and said, "It's okay, my brother has died of AIDS," and this experience has helped me a lot.
Medicine has progressed so much that for many people today it is enough to take a pill. one day, and that's what I've been doing for a long time
I have an undetectable viral load, which implies that the virus can not be detected in my blood.
It has been shown that if you live with HIV and your viral load is undetectable for six months, the risk of transmission is zero. It changed everything for us.
I am still in touch with many other women. I went to the Grand Canyon on vacation with one of them, the jazz bar, last year.
If I had not known her, she would never have examined herself and if she had not given my name to the Department of Health, I would never have done it. They would have called to examine me. We really saved the life of the other.
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