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Seemingly unbearable grief crippled Matt Mauser after the death of his wife, Christina, almost a year ago, in the helicopter crash in Calabasas which also claimed the lives of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna and six other people. Her strong and talented spiritual partner, the mother of their three children and the life they shared, vanished in instant tragedy.
After bouts of depression and a lot of tears, Mauser turned to what he does best – music – to help him cope. The words flowed from his heart.
Lost, like a boat on the sea, I have been tossed about and taken for a walk because you are not by my side.
Mauser said writing and performing songs such as “Lost” gave him a voice in his grief and provided him with a much-needed buoy amid the suddenly stormy seas of his life.
“It just helps the healing process,” Mauser, 50, said recently in a telephone interview. “There is no easy solution. Not a single thing you do will make the loss of your wife and the mother of your children easier. It just doesn’t happen. That is going to take time.
The Huntington Beach resident and accomplished artist has weathered the storm since that fateful and foggy Sunday morning, January 26, 2020.
Christina, 38, a former top basketball and volleyball player at Edison High, balanced her motherhood by being Bryant’s top assistant coach on her highly competitive eighth-year women’s basketball team, the Mambas.
She boarded a helicopter with Bryant, her daughter and six others bound for a basketball game in Thousand Oaks. The flight included teammates Gianna Alyssa Altobelli and Payton Chester, their parents John and Keri Altobelli and Sarah Chester, and pilot Ara Zobayan. John Altobelli was the baseball coach at Orange Coast College.
The group never made it to the gym. The Sikorsky S-76 helicopter crashed in the Calabasas Hills, killing everyone on board. The probable cause of the crash is expected to be announced by the National Transportation Safety Board on February 9.
The accident sent shockwaves around the world and rocked several communities and families in Southern California.
“Life is definitely different,” Mauser said. “I knew I had an amazing, amazing wife.”
While Christina was selected by Bryant, Mauser also worked for the Lakers legend.
Lead singer of the popular Tijuana Dogs and Sinatra Big Band, he wrote the music for Bryant’s children’s podcast titled “The Punies.” The duo worked on two seasons of the show.
“It was a lot of work and it really honed my songwriting skills,” said Mauser, whose voice sounds like Frank Sinatra. “I give Kobe a lot of credit and appreciation. He set my feet on fire and forced me to challenge myself as a musician and as a songwriter.
But Mauser’s main job these days is playing Mr. Mom with his own children: Penny, 12, Tom, 10, and Ivy, 4.
There is the daily challenge of distance learning and comforting children who not only miss their mothers but also their friends at school. Mauser, a former athlete and water sports coach at Edison, fights obstacles with an abundance of hugs and presence in their lives.
Above all, he tries to follow his wife’s example.
“I’m just trying to live the life Christina wants us to live,” he says. “Children are the priority.”
Mauser said his children “are doing well” and naturally encounter moments of sadness.
“We fight for every happiness and we learn to enjoy life,” he said. “Life is for living, and life is good despite everything we’ve been through and everyone’s been through.
“You are supposed to find joy in life. There have been people who have been lower than us, with no choice, with nothing, and they always have a smile.
The family also faced the chilling realities of the pandemic. Mauser said he and his children had each been infected with the coronavirus but recovered in about two weeks. “It was very difficult,” he said, “but we got over it.
When it comes to healing his heart, Mauser relies on his music. The pandemic has cut off concert opportunities but he continues to write songs dedicated to his wife.
“The most therapeutic thing for me was to write and recover my music,” he says. “I couldn’t do it for about a month and a half, two months. I just couldn’t move … But one morning I woke up and said, ‘I have to start writing.’
Mauser will mark the anniversary of the helicopter crash on Tuesday with a private fundraising concert to benefit the Christina Mauser Foundation. The concert will air on mattmauser.com at 5 p.m. PST and will feature a Sinatra-style performance and a guest appearance by frontman Frank Stallone.
Penny will perform the song “Green Bike”, which has special meaning for the Mauser family. Penny, who played basketball on a lower division team with the Mambas, was supposed to be in the helicopter that morning, but because she had been sick the week before and was going to play “Green Bike” this morning. that evening at Brea Improv, her family kept her at home.
“That’s the reason she wasn’t in that helicopter either,” Mauser said of the song. “It’s hard to think but it’s the truth.”
The Christina Mauser Foundation has partnered with the Rose Bowl Institute and aims to support single mothers, women and girls in sport through scholarships and financial aid.
Mauser plans to continue sharing his journey with grief. He believes that grief, at some point, connects all of the people who have loved someone.
“There is no course on how to get by, so you just have to rely on the people who have been through it,” he said. “If I can help people overcome grief, if I can pass on the knowledge that I have learned through this process, this is where God has put me and this is what I feel I need to do. .
And so, Mauser writes and sings. Hey so much more than i meant it should hurt and oh how it works when what’s left is what’s been lost
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