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Sophie Henri
Netizens claimed they could shoot Jack Harlow. Do you think you could? What other celebrities could you or your friends attract and why? Please tell us your thoughts!
Ruth Lee ’25
I probably couldn’t shoot Jack Harlow. Not just because I’m still a legal minor, but because he looks like one of the boys you see at fraternal evenings. You know, the ones who give sporadic half-smiles even if you’re talking about something serious, like when your cat had cancer and died last year. They’ll pat you on the forehead like it’s supposed to be endearing, but it really feels like they’re sending Morse code instead.
Drake could be a different story. He knew what he was doing when he wrote a song called “November 18”, which happens to be my birthday. And in pure Yalie style, I will surely be “draped and dripping with knowing what I’m talking about ”during the not at all stressful mid-season season. And if you’ve seen Drake in Degrassi, you know the Jimmy Brooks could quite well pass someone in a first-year physics class. “Drake, let’s meet for lunch at Murray.” No, this is not a date! Can I get your answers for the physics p-set? “
Angelique of Rouen’24
Jack Harlow. In my experience, according to one of my best friends I speak to, her name alone can raise two different, but very intellectual questions: am I in love with Jack Harlow (look at her playlist, titled “Am I in Love with Jack Harlow”)? or does Jack Harlow look like he’s drinking hot dog water? I still can’t tell if Jack is hot or just white, but one thing’s for sure, anyone can shoot him with the right amount of confidence. There is a fine line between being a badass and being bad. However, with the right frame of mind, you can definitely ask Jack to get some froyo. I’m all for long distance relationships, but I’m pretty sure I can’t pull it from Los Angeles to New Haven, and I think if I try to stop I might get a lawsuit. But maybe one day Jack can fire me and my friends with his handprint on our butt.
Anastasia Hufham ’23
I could shoot Harry Styles.
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