DEAR ABBY: My husband said something very pejorative to my cousin's sister-in-law at a family party. She immediately told my cousin. Instead of coming to my home, my cousin went to see my brothers and sisters. They confronted my husband and told him that he had to tell me or they would do it. My husband said. Of course, it is now open and the ramifications have been horrible. My husband has apologized to all parties, which is about all he can do.
The problem is that my brothers and sisters-in-law now hate him to the point that they do not want him with their children, which my husband loves. I love my husband, but I also love my family. I venerate my nieces and nephews.
I know that if I stay and work at my wedding, my brothers and their wives will not support my decision, which will make me unhappy. We will no longer be able to socialize with the couple family. However, if I leave my husband without trying to work my marriage, I will not be happy either. I am confused and I try to decide if I stay or if I leave. Please help! – LOSE HIS WAY IN NEW YORK
CHER LOSING: What happened at the family party was something that happens often? Is your husband a gunman, a drunkard, a misogynist, a verbal aggressor? Has it changed for the worse since you married him? If the answer to these questions is no, considering that it's apologized to all concerned, I do not think you should give up your marriage without careful consideration, possibly with the ## 147 ## 39 opinion of your spiritual advisor and / or authorized representative. marital and family therapist.
DEAR ABBY: I have an invisible injury – a traumatic brain injury that occurred when I was hit by a car at the age of 10 years. People do not understand my symptoms. When I stumble when I walk, people have accused me of being drunk. When I was not able to answer a question right away, I was treated as silly. The children laughed at me in front of my daughter while their parents looked and smiled in sign of approval. This taught my daughter to be a more understanding and compassionate person.
My injury prevented me from making friends. My memory is drawn. I have forgotten the names but I remember the faces. I have tried to explain to people what happened to be accused of lying. It hurts. I have stopped trying to make friends because it is simply easier to be alone. I guess I'm writing to you in the hope of reminding people that it's not because you think you know what's going on with someone you're doing it. — MISUNDERSTOOD
DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: I print your letter because it is an important letter. Many people suffer from hidden disabilities. The fact that you have been subjected to the kind of abuse you have suffered from these insensitive and rude individuals leaves me puzzled over the level of intelligence of the people around you. You may feel less isolated if you join a brain injury support group. You can find one by contacting the Brain Injury Association of America. The toll-free number is 800-444-6443 or visit biausa.org.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby to www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.