Dear Abby, How to help a friend who has been suffering from depression for years but has no desire to help



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CHER ABBY: I'm looking at the idle destruction of a childhood friend on Facebook. There is drug addiction, infidelity, divorce, all. It hurts.

He recently admitted that he has been suffering from depression for years, but insists he is not interested in a doctor or counselor. It looks like it was burned in the past. I know I can not do anything until he asks for help, but I intend to be there when he does. What resources are available for a person who is clinically depressed and self-care? – TRYING TO HELP IN THE WEST

DEAR TEST: There are support groups for people who are depressed and / or emotionally challenged. But to join one, the person has to admit that there is a problem and that help is needed. Because your friend is reluctant to the idea of ​​professional help, you can suggest a group called Emotions Anonymous. It was created in 1971 and its mission is to help people with emotional difficulties. It offers chat, Skype and telephone meetings as well as in-person focus groups. If you want more information, you can find them on emotionsanonymous.org.

CHER ABBY: I've been dating this woman for a few years. We are not engaged in a relationship, but she wants me exclusively for herself. She is very jealous and a comment she made won me over. She told me that the picture of my late wife should be displayed only in my children's room and that I still hold it, which prevents me from going ahead with a woman. I will never remove any photo of the mother of my children out of respect, not only for the missing loved ones, but also for my children. What do you think about this? – RESPECT TO TEXAS

DEEPLY RESPECT: If you keep a picture of your late wife next to your bed, I see that it might upset someone with whom you have been dating a couple of years – especially if you are not committed to her. . That said, if posting a picture of your wife in a public room in your house is so threatening to that woman that she would do the kind of scene you are describing, it might be time to replace her with a less person. easily threatened.

CHER ABBY: I'm happy (mostly) married to my husband for 40 years. This is a good husband, provider and father. Only one thing about him really worries me. When it tells a story to someone, it often "embellishes" it and changes it into something that is not really the truth. What he says does not matter or hurt anyone, but it always bothers me. I wonder if what he's telling me about something is the correct version or "his" version.

As I said, it's never important, so I do not understand why he does it. I asked him the question and he does not really explain it. Do you have any idea of ​​what would make a person do that? – The wife in wonderland

DEAR WOMAN: Some people "beautify" to impress or make themselves look more prominent, or because they think the story will be more fun or exciting. Not knowing your husband, I can not answer for him. This could help reassure him that you love him as he is and that the truth is always better than fiction.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby to www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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