Grimes refuses to give her ex full custody of the space

Good news for anyone worried about WWIII: It looks like the next great war won’t happen on Earth but in space, caused by (who else?) Grimes and Elon Musk. While Musk and NASA are busy spending $ 178 million to reach one of Jupiter’s moons, Europa, Grimes apparently has his own plans for settling into space. Via an email to “Page Six,” Grimes appeared to confirm the couple’s breakup, informing the world that she would “colonize Europa separately from Elon for the lesbian space community.” Is it… conscious decoupling?

Last week, Musk informed “Page Six” that he and Grimes were “semi-separated” and continuing to raise their son, X Æ A-Xii, who, come to think of it, would likely be less bullied on Europa. Grimes, meanwhile, was busy posting an Instagram story in front of the most chaotic window treatment I’ve seen in my life, which almost confirms his intention to leave Earth. Someone who’s tied blinds to hangers, the whole contraption hanging from a curtain rod, is certainly not long for this galaxy.

According to Musk, this surreal couple’s deepest schism was rooted in the fact that they couldn’t be in the same place here on Earth (his work keeps him mostly in Texas or overseas, while his work is in LA) – which could mean that there is still hope for them, if they both manage to end up on the same moon. Sadly, the couple’s therapy options in space are limited, so war is probably the most likely outcome. At least Grimes is starting to stockpile his weaponry.