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Dear Amy: I am married to a much older man. My husband is 83 years old and his vision is in decline. He prefers the things he uses on a daily basis (like certain tools and condiments he uses for his food) to be kept out of the way where he can easily find them.
Until recently, I was a breadwinner. I am now retired and enjoy several hobbies.
Her children are mostly younger than me. A stepdaughter, “Brenda”, is my age. Brenda has always been a housewife – a maid.
The problem is, on a recent visit, Brenda moved some things my husband uses regularly. Two days later, I found out where his ketchup, peanut butter, butter and power strip were.
Brenda has no hobbies other than cleaning and watching TV.
Are we wrong to expect our son to bribe his wife? Should we say something? My husband says he prefers Brenda not to visit anymore.
I think we should visit our kids and move their stuff and see how they like it!
Frustrated parents
Dear Frustrated: Sensational. Unless you left out some key details, I would say that you and your husband work really hard to inflate an embarrassment into a real problem and then throw the blame away.
First of all, one should not expect sons to “corral” their wives.
Second, you say Brenda is a good housewife. She was doing this during her visit – cleaning and tidying up, and (it seems) trying to be of service.
You could thank her for that, and then explain why some things should be left out where your husband can easily find them.
Dear Amy: My wife and I are elderly. We’ve been on a self-imposed lockdown for the past 10 months (and counting).
Vaccination is on the horizon. Because there will be questions as to who has been vaccinated against the virus and who has not, sensitive people like us would like to have a question prepared to ask someone if they have been vaccinated.
It should be written in such a way that the people questioned do not take offense.
My wife and I have tried to find the perfect question, but don’t think we have the right words yet. Even more ticklish: how to ask for proof of vaccination?
We hope you can provide these tips.
Locked
Dear Locked Down: First of all, medical questions should be shared with your doctor (I’m not one). You should focus on your own vaccinations. Don’t ruminate on what other people are doing.
A very useful article published by AARP (aarp.org) explains the effect of vaccination in this way, citing Dr. Thomas Moody, principal investigator at the Human Vaccine Institute at Duke University: “… A vaccine makes a person resistant to infection with the virus and the disease it causes – COVID-19 – or, at the very least, causes an infected person to have a shorter course [of disease], or not as many complications. “
Although a vaccine protects you from COVID disease, people who have been vaccinated can still spread the virus itself (which is why your friends should get vaccinated as well).
For this reason, it is essential that you continue to maintain safe practices while traveling. William Schaffner, MD, infectious disease specialist and professor of preventive medicine at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine says, “Just because you roll up your sleeve and get the vaccine doesn’t mean you can throw off your mask and ignore other prevention efforts. like social distancing and hand washing. These will be crucial for a while, in order to control the virus. “
Once vaccinated, you could become an ambassador and advocate for the other members of your entourage to receive it as well.
And so you can say, “We got our COVID vaccination. It was child’s play. Do you already have yours? “
No, you do not have to ask for proof that other people have been vaccinated. Your vaccination helps protect you from disease; theirs will protect them.
Dear Amy: I was concerned to see you recommending the work of personal finance advisor Dave Ramsey, responding to a letter from “Sugar Mama” in a recent column.
Dave Ramsey has actively promoted COVID conspiracy theories, putting people at risk.
Disturbs
Dear upset: Dave Ramsey’s alarming lack of concern for the health of his own employees (and fans) became news several days after he filed the column in which I recommended his financial advice.
In my opinion, this calls his judgment into question and I agree with readers who objected to my recommendation.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
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