How to give priority to personal care when you care for someone else



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Managing the responsibilities and stress of caregiving can be a daunting task, especially when you have to integrate it with all your other responsibilities at work and at home. But those who care for a loved one with mental illness face unique challenges because of the stigma and complexity of the navigation treatment. I met Deborah Miscoll, Psy.D., psychologist and general manager at Deloitte, to talk about mental health in the workplace. During this conversation, we discussed the important role caregivers play in the lives of people with mental illness.

Jen Fisher: Millions of people a year suffer from some form of mental illness. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) says it has up to one in five adults each year. These people have families, friends, co-workers – it's a huge pool of people affected by mental health issues.

Deborah Miscoll: Yes. There are many people who support their friends and loved ones. However, caregivers can face the same stigma and judgment issues as people with mental health issues.

You must also face the challenge of accessing care – especially if your loved one has a serious mental illness. In this case, you probably take the lead in navigating the health system, which may seem like a full-time job, in addition to the responsibilities you already have. Add to that the emotional ups and downs that you encounter when someone you love is in the midst of a mental health crisis. It can be overwhelming. Caregivers must be extremely vigilant in caring for themselves.

JF: So it's like being told in airplanes: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.

DM: Exactly. If you do not take care of yourself, you can not take care of someone else. And in most cases, many caregivers who are caring for their loved ones with mental health problems feel great psychological satisfaction, are proud to give back to loved ones and have increased social growth.

However, some caregivers may face tensions that disrupt their lives and well-being. If care begins to become a burden, you are not a "bad" person; you are experiencing something that many others also feel. The real problem arises when the caregiver is overloaded for an extended period. Your coping resources may weaken over time. Researchers find higher levels of depression and other health problems when this happens. So you really need to prioritize your own well-being.

JF: Do you have any any suggestions for managing personal care while taking care of someone with a mental health problem?

DM: It starts with the mentality:

  • Do not consider the situation as negative; Have hope that things will improve with time and treatment.
  • Stay focused on your life. The care you give is only part of that life.
  • Do your best to keep up with your familiar schedule and routines.
  • Maintain your own social support infrastructure. This is one of the most important things you can do to improve your emotional health. Social interaction can help you stay on course and receive care you need.

And building resilience through wellness behaviors can also help. Stay active, pay attention to your hydration, eat nutritious foods and get enough sleep! About one-third of us do not sleep enough, and sleep deprivation can affect our mental and emotional well-being.

JF: I found that practicing gratitude can also be a powerful personal care tool.

DM: Absolutely. Starting and / or ending the day by writing three things for which you are grateful can help you enormously from an emotional point of view. Especially when you are in care, it can help you rephrase your vision of what is positive and fulfilling in your life.

Self-care strategies are easy to learn and integrate into your life. Remember that they do not have to completely change your routine – even small behaviors can develop to create a significant impact on your resilience and mood.

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