“I spent time swimming in the sea of ​​sorrow he left behind”

Even before committing suicide in June 2018, Anthony Bourdain had a particular fascination with celebrity suicides. “Tony was sort of a suicide expert,” says Oscar-winning director Morgan Neville, whose latest feature film, Roadrunner: a film about Anthony Bourdain, recounts the eventful life and sudden death of the world-famous chef and television host. (Watch our video interview above.)

Bourdain was not unique in this regard: there is an entire subculture that is drawn to stories of celebrity suicide. And the New York-born conductor, who was 62 when he died, has become a focal point of that community in the years since his death, joining far too early artists like Amy Winehouse and Kurt Cobain, all of whom two still immortalized on murals or tributes on the Internet. But Roadrunner, which hits theaters on July 16, ostensibly rejects this sort of vaporous iconography, instead focusing on the anger of the loved ones Bourdain has left behind. In fact, the film ends with one of the chef’s friends – artist David Choe – degrading a spatula-painted Bourdain mural in a provocative rejection of what Neville calls the “romantic idea” of the suicide of the celebrities.

“There can be this kind of romantic idea on [suicide] – you know, live fast and die young, “says Neville.” And I just wanted to show that this is total BS. There is nothing romantic about it. “

“I spent time swimming in the sea of ​​sorrow he left behind,” continues the director. “This part is brutal, and there is no way around it. Something that has become really important is to understand how damaging suicide is, because it leaves people with these complicated emotions of shame or sadness. that they could have done something and they can’t talk about it. Even though intellectually people know it’s not their fault, emotionally it’s a whole different matter. It’s something I wanted that people feel in the movie, because I felt it while making the movie. At the very least, I hope to open the door and give people permission to talk about one of the most shameful things of our time. society.”

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Bourdain’s own fascination with suicide may have sprung from the addictive behavior he struggled with his entire life. The chef described his battle with drug and alcohol abuse in his successful memoir, Confidential Kitchen, But Roadrunner illustrates how he continued to find new addictions even after giving up those habits – whether it was jiu-jitsu or a strenuous work schedule.

“Tony absolutely transferred his addictive tendencies,” says Neville. “Part of the reason the kitchen worked so well for him was the thoroughness of it. And his show, he kind of ran the same. When he wasn’t shooting the show, he was doing shots. book and lecture tours. It was just amazing how much work he put in front of him at all times. He’s always been all-in, and that’s part of what made him great to watch , but it’s also a very difficult way to live. ”

Although Roadrunner Expressly avoids romanticizing Bourdain’s life and memory, Neville believes the film offers a nuanced portrayal of his subject – one that will appeal to viewers who might be reluctant to feel sympathy for someone who has achieved such success. . “To say that just because someone is successful means they must be happy [is wrong]”, notes the director.” Tony never really wanted to be famous, and in fact, he became agoraphobic later in his life because he was always a shy person, which I think people don’t know. not really.”

“Being Tony Bourdain in the world was a huge responsibility,” adds Neville. “Part of me feels like maybe he should have been more jaded and protected himself. Being jaded is actually knowing how to prioritize what is important in your life. It was the thing Tony was never able to assess: there were no limits, and it’s a really hard thing to do, especially once you’re in your sixties and you should have established some priorities on what is really important in your life at that time. ”

Come in Roadrunner, the big question viewers will likely have in mind is “Why?” But Neville hopes they leave the theater with a different question answered. “I feel like the movie is less about why he killed himself and more about the guy we thought we knew – the kind of funny, smart guy we had a relationship with. [on TV] – how to reconcile that with someone who commits suicide? Making that connection is the kind of thing I was looking for. Tony’s curiosity and research are all great things, but taken to the extreme it becomes disruptive. It was hard for him to feel love and emotion, really. There is never a clear answer as to why someone commits suicide, but at least we can begin to understand how it could have happened. ”

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Roadrunner: a film about Anthony Bourdain premieres July 16 in theaters.

– Video produced by Jen Kucsak and edited by Jason Fitzpatrick

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