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We should declare I really do not understand the attraction for this format of car. Take a low-slung cut and hoist it in the air. Then load on an extra few hundred pounds. Alternatively a functionally-focused SUV and slope the roof to reduce the bootspace and prevent the addition of a third row of seats. What you have with SUV and less sportiness than a regular cut.
And yet here we are in yet another German coupe crossover, this time courtesy of Audi. The high-powered product planners at the German car giant clearly believe in this format. And there are several times worth of Powerpoint presentation and pie charts to support their viewpoint. I still do not get it.
However, as BMW has been shown with its odd-looking X6, some folks love this format. And given that the engineers at the VW Group are masters of repackaging, why not build the Q8? After all, we are not new to new car. The new VW Touareg, the Porsche Cayenne, the Lamborghini Urus and the Bentley Bentayga are all under the skin of the Audi Q7.
While Audi's Q8 shares its general underpinnings with the seven-seat sibling Q7, the actual dimensions differ. For a start it's shorter, but that's understandable given it's taking a five-seater format.
The test is the 50, but it is a prime example of the naming convention being adopted by the four-ringed brand. Audi has abandoned the traditional way of identifying different derivatives by engine size. It has chosen an arbitrary scale of numbers: the higher the numeral the bigger the output of the car.
In fairness Audi has a point. With most of its new models boasting at least mild hybrid electric support, and a fleet of new battery-powered models on the way. After all, the latest one-liter petrol engines can outgun many times larger counterparts. Maybe Audi's naming convention will not catch on, but they're right that the relationship between cubic capacity and performance is over.
Road reality
Deciphering the code means this is a 286bhp diesel with eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission. In this crossover it delivers has 0-100km / h time of 6.3 seconds.
Pitching those figures against the reality on the road, two traits are quickly evident. First, sport mode makes this big bus move, even if there is a noticeable momentary lag between kicking down the throttle and the Q8 hurtling towards the horizon. Yet it never delivers on the sporty promise. Unsurprising given that it weighs in at over 2½ tons.
With adaptive air suspension and all-wheel steering, the Q8 wafted along with the roads we encountered during the week. Occasionally the system got caught by errant speed bumps and potholes, but in general comfort was the norm, even in sport mode. The only problem is it always feels its size. There's little that suggests "cutting" about this car's handling characteristics.
In terms of looks, while the Range Rover Velar remains the jaw-dropping benchmark, this certainly secures second place, well ahead of the odd-looking BMW X6 and the even odder Mercedes-Benz GLE coupe.
Little touches like frameless doors, a sharper sloping roofline and more defined rear pillars lend a cut look to the car. Arguably the most striking styling touch, however, is the standard 21-inch alloys, with the option of stepping up to 22-inch if you really want to add more bling.
We did not really get a chance to stretch the Q8's feet, but we did not like it – our fault, not Audi's – but in fairness it was the second time we were able to spend time in the car and on our first drive we got to pit it against three of its siblings: the new VW Touareg and at the other end of the spectrum, the Lamborghini Urus.
Goldilocks option
The VW is more practical, though it also boasts an impressive array of tech, while the Lambo is a more ludicrous, both in performance and price. The Q8 boasts styling as sharp as the Urus, as well as the touareg. So does that make the Q8, the Goldilocks option? Arguably so.
The boon for the Q8 is that many of its four-ringed siblings are the best-looking occupants. For once, Audi has let loose the reigns of its design team and the results have paid off.
This BMW X6 and Merc GLE cut, the gold and the gorgeous Velar and our money would be on the Audi, matching its own strong distinctive styling with impressive performance and the brand's reputation for builds British counterpart.
Its pricing does need careful attention, however. While the list price for our car was € 102,200, our test car came with € 24,444 worth of extras. That's a lot of people on their new car. Some options were understandably pricey, like the Bang & Olufsen high-end sound system at € 1,907. After all, you're new to a new tax. € 2.304 for a heads-up display is too much, as is € 1.060 for "power-badisted closing for doors". It makes € 432 for the "electric cover for luggage compartment" seem a bargain. And one offer on the options list, but not included in our test car, had me intrigued: Audi exclusive floor mats for € 713.
And for all the focus on Audi's electric of late, this Q8 still has a three-liter diesel at its heart, swallowing 6.8 l / 100km (41.5mpg) on official figures and emitting 178g / km of CO2, which incurs an annual motor tax bill of € 750.
For all its elegance, the Q8 left me perplexed by these crossover crossover SUVs. In a effort to be all things to all motorists they never deliver properly in any one area. However, if style and form surpbades substance and function in your life then the Q8 is the best buy of these five-seat behemoths.
Lowdown: Audi Q8 3.0 TDI "50" S Line
Engine: three-liter diesel putting out 286bhp with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission
0-100km / h: 6.3 seconds
L / 100km (mpg): 6.8 (41.5)
Emissions (motor tax): 178g / km (€ 750)
Price: € 102,200 (€ 126,644)
Our rating: 4/5
Verdict: Best of the bunch when it comes to image-conscious luxury crossovers. Still do not understand why you'd bother though.
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