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I was only 17 when I enrolled at the Duluth branch of the University of Minnesota. That’s what it was called then. They cut the branch of the learning tree years ago.
So suddenly I was an official freshman, supposed to wear a brown beanie – called a “dink” – and show loyalty to my new higher education institution. I did not have a first year cap. In fact, I didn’t understand a lot of things, like: in order to be successful in college, you have to actually “study”.
The rest was pretty fun. Meet new kids and befriend old rivals from Duluth Central, Morgan Park, Cathedral and East. I was a Denfeld man (boy?).
Things didn’t go well for me when I was just starting out in college, but they were going well at night. College was so liberating compared to high school. In most cases, you didn’t even have to attend class if you didn’t feel like it. No one cared. If you were present, you could light a cigarette in front of the classroom door on your way out. No one cared. Almost everyone smoked.
It was all very liberating for me, as, I’m sure, for the rest of the freshmen and freshmen, some of whom really wanted to study and learn things, to the point that quite a few boys smokers. pipe sleeves actually had plastic shirt pocket protectors for carrying pens and pencils. These students were mostly finished in science and destined for big things, it seemed to me.
I tried to stay away from the sciences as best I could, but you couldn’t avoid them altogether. Basic math and science were needed, and those disciplines were never my strong suit. I was more of a student of the English, history and ballroom dance genre.
Yes, I took a ballroom dance class, which was considered a PE credit, one of the four you needed to graduate. I thought golfing, bowling, and downhill skiing were this fun, but I never did it later in life. Famous football coach Jim Malosky was a golf instructor before he rose to fame.
But back in the science department, things weren’t going so well. In fact, they were downright bad.
I took basic biology classes in first grade, which involved dissecting a spotted frog that alarmingly looked like a distant cousin to the spotted frog I had dissected in grade 10. Same course, really, three years later. We also made worms. Yuck.
Microscopes have also been used to visualize the “cells”. I thought the cells were jail rooms for crooks or Communist Party units in America. You didn’t need to see them under a microscope. They were all over the news. The war was cold in those ancient times.
To make a long story short, I walked the course to the best of my limited ability, guessing a lot on the tests and hoping for the best. Hoping for the best is not good practice in higher education. Applying like studying hard gives better results, I learned much later in my college career.
I was therefore quite tense at the end of the term (three terms per school year at the time instead of the current two semesters). The grades were mailed to the students, so I watched the postman (yes, they were all men at the time) every day.
Finally they came. I got an A in choir, a B in dance (two left feet) but a D in basic biology, which relied more on your academic record than singing and dancing. Life can be so unfair.
My older brother had already graduated and knew the ropes better than this freshman. He suggested that I go see the professor and say I think I deserve a C. Would that be too much to ask?
So I made an appointment with Professor Frogstad in his small private office and I made my pitch. I think I deserved a C, I told him.
A nice man, the professor, seated at his desk, looked at me hovering overhead and said, “Mr. Heffernan, you have no idea how lucky you are to get a D. Hmmm, they call you “Mr”. in college too, it doesn’t matter how well you do, which is good. So at least there was that.
I retreat hastily without saying much. I hope I said thank you. And that was my introduction to college. I messed around a bit more and took a break before I came to my senses and study and pay attention to lectures, which allowed me to graduate after five years. Cap and gown, college diploma proclaiming a bachelor’s degree and onward with life.
It turned out to be journalism – in this newspaper. In journalism you are faced with a diverse bunch of people: high level politicians, business leaders, movers, shakers, innocents, vagrants, thieves, murderers. (Yeah! Relax, Jim.)
Many years later I got to know the former UMD Chancellor Lawrence Ianni, who found out that I had graduated from UMD. As I had a fairly high local profile and a moderately successful career, he decided to honor me with a Distinguished Alumni Award, presented at a graduation ceremony in the fall. Of course, I was honored but first I wondered if this was such a good idea.
“Have you seen my transcripts?” ” I asked.
He went ahead anyway, I’m proud to say.
ADDENDUM: At the ceremony, I was to deliver the graduation speech to the graduates. I titled my speech “The Skin of Our Teeth”. I’m sure the irony of that was lost on everyone… except me.
Jim Heffernan is a former journalist and news and opinion columnist for Duluth News Tribune. He maintains a blog at jimheffernan.org and can be contacted by email at [email protected].
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