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Shiann Sivell story
When Amber Hogg leans in to fondle and coo over Mallory Parker’s heavily pregnant belly, she isn’t cooing to a niece or even a potential godson. She welcomes her own daughter, Wrenley Alise Hogg, expected in December, who Parker is wearing for Hogg and her husband, Daniel.
“[The baby] is Amber and Daniel, but Amber is the cook, so to speak, ”said Hogg’s mother, Susan Bailey.
Parker is acting as Hogg’s surrogate, a move that brought the two LaGrange women together after years of hardship and tragedy.
Hogg and Parker’s friendship spans over 20 years, they said, and they have known each other literally their entire lives. They got to know each other through their families as children and then grew up as friends and classmates at Long Cane Elementary School where Hogg now works as a kindergarten teacher. Parker is an emergency nurse at Wellstar West Georgia Medical Center, and the two have remained close as they began to navigate their own lives.
As adults, as Mallory and her husband, Justin, began raising their three children, Amber and Daniel were trying to have only one of their own.
“My husband and I have tried it for several years, but we have had problems conceiving,” Hogg said.
It will be six years before her husband’s dream and she finally comes true. In early 2020, they conceived a baby girl, whom they named Harlow, and both families were ready to welcome her into the world.
However, fate had other plans.
“At 22 weeks, she was stillborn,” Parker said.
Hogg, still wanting to start a family, began to look for other alternatives as she and her family mourned Harlow.
“After that I knew I couldn’t carry anymore,” she said. “I couldn’t get through this. My husband didn’t want me to go through this.
Adoption was the couple’s first option, but the waiting period and high costs were unlikely for them. The idea of surrogacy came next, and the Hoggs began to look for likely candidates.
Parker immediately named herself.
“I’ve always felt a call to help someone somehow,” Parker explained. “I didn’t know it was surrogacy… and I told Amber I was still there. [for her.]”
In January, the Hoggs had their first consultation for a surrogate mother and Parker immediately thought she was the main candidate.
“I didn’t know someone else had proposed,” Parker said with a laugh.
Hogg’s mother had actually volunteered first.
“Mallory was a better candidate [due to her] age, ”Bailey said.
The discussion took place between the two women and their husbands, and the plan was put in place. Parker began psychological assessments in February, followed by his first human chorionic gonadotropin, a form of hormone therapy that would prepare Parker’s body for Hogg’s fertilized egg.
Part of the process involved Parker and Hogg having to be stuck with hundreds of doses of progesterone to make Hogg’s eggs larger to make them easier to extract, Bailey explained.
“Of them [eggs] were viable, and both were implanted, but only one passed the full cycle, ”she said. “He cheated [Parker’s] body thinking he was pregnant before her, because when they put [the egg] in, it was already a few weeks in the process.
Parker would overcome his discomfort, she said, adding that a Caesarean was already scheduled for Wrenley’s day of birth. And on April 9, she finally received a positive pregnancy test.
“[Hogg] was in the middle of school, and I called her… and I said, ‘Amber, this is positive’ and she said, ‘Shut up.’ Her husband had exactly the same reaction.
To better help his children understand the situation, Parker bought them a book on how kangaroos carry babies in their pockets.
Now the ten, eight and four year olds see themselves as Wrenley’s older cousins.
“I sort of planted seeds [in them] from the start, ”Parker said. “I told them I might carry a baby for Amber one day. She’s their aunt. She attended each of their births. She’s been there through it all for me.
The two live a short drive from each other, and Hogg has been on call for all of Parker’s medical needs and needs. Parker’s kids are constant visitors and are always excited to see additions to the Wrenley Nursery. Some of the clothes that were supposed to belong to Harlow will be passed on to him, along with a teddy bear carrying his weight and a blanket made by Parker’s grandmother.
“It’s crazy but this baby is expected a few weeks later [the anniversary of] Harlow’s due date, ”Parker said. “It’s really a God thing from the start.”
Parker will be more than ready to hand over her precious “niece” to her parents in December, she said.
“Everyone kind of asks me how do I keep a separation… and I think from the start, seeing Amber and Daniel… I was able to separate, and I just become Aunt Evil, and I have a special bond with Wrenley. To be able to see a baby in her arms that she will bring home and that she will love, it will be worth it. “
Wrenley will not only grow up surrounded by the friends, co-workers and family of Hogg and Parker, but also a guardian angel, Hogg said.
“We have things in his nursery that are named after Harlow,” she said. “She will always see him … we have [black and white] pictures of her … “
And on this long-awaited day, Hogg has three little words to say to the little girl she has wanted for so long.
“I love you.”
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