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Lamar Odom said he regretted having cheated on his ex-wife, Khloé Kardashian, and lying to him about his cocaine addiction during their four-year marriage.
The former NBA star said in a new interview that he wanted "that he could have been more of a man" and that still bother him three years after their divorce. He also said he missed the Kardashian family.
In excerpts from Odom's upcoming book, "Darkness to Light," Odom writes that he is the happiest he's ever been since his wedding in 2009, a month after they met. But he finally started having business and he wrote that he could not handle the "deadly cocktail of searchlights, addiction, a declining career and infidelity".
KHLOE KARDASHIAN ADOPTS JORDYN WOODS AFTER ARRESTING SILENCE ON A TRAGMAN SCANDAL
FILE – In archive photo, April 30, 2012, Khloe Kardashian Odom and Lamar Odom of the show "Keeping Up The Kardashians" attend a concert E! Initial network in New York.
(AP)
"Oh, did I mention paranoia, anxiety, depression," writes Odom in his book by People. "I could not keep my nose in my pants or the coke of my nose, drug addicts are incredibly good at hiding their habit, I would be on the defensive and Khloe would drop him."
FANS CRY PHOTOSHOP AS KHLOE KARDASHIAN MORPHS IN A HUMAN BARBIE
"I would have liked to be more of a man," said Odom, 39, at the magazine. "It's still bothering me so far, but regret is something we have to learn to live with."
He said that Kardashian was at his side after his almost fatal overdose in 2015 and that he is now drug free.
LOMAR ODOM REVEALS THAT HE SUFFERED 12 STROKES, 6 CARDIGUES REACHING AT COMA
"I hope we can be friends," said Odom about his ex. "I miss the family, and hope that we can all be found someday."
Associated Press contributed to this report.
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