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You may not notice that you are dealing with a jealous partner at first, because there is a good chance that it will be masked by something more "sweet". And even if your partner may have jealous tendencies, that does not seem like a big problem, but the national hotline against domestic violence lists jealousy as a precursor to domestic violence. While this does not mean that every jealous person will become abusive, it does mean that jealousy is an unhealthy trait in a relationship and that you should keep an eye on it.
If you have the impression that you may be dealing with a jealous partner, but you do not know if their actions are in keeping with the law, here are 11 subtle signs to watch out for.
They check on you 24/7.
When you do not spend time with your partner, it's nice to send or receive a text message asking how their day is going, right? Jonathan Bennett, author and dating / relationship coach, said that if they send these messages all the time, you may need to worry.
"If your partner is only" concerned "; about you when you are with other people, this could be a sign of jealousy rather than real concern, "he told INSIDER." This may involve you "controlling" through SMS and calls when you are with friends or at work, usually under the name of "make sure everything is fine".
There is always a problem if you want to do something without them.
If you usually spend most or all of your time with your partner, you may want to separate from them even for a second, which can be unbearable. This does not mean, however, that it is impossible or not pleasant. However, according to Bennett, if your partner is doing a big deal trying to do your own work, it's definitely a sign of jealousy.
"It's normal for couples to spend time away and have separate hobbies," Bennett said. "If your partner is worried about your time, for whatever reason, it could indicate jealousy. He or she might be afraid to meet someone else in your absence. "
They began to question every friendship you have.
Relationships must be based on trust and if your partner has problems with the friendships you have, you should take it as a red flag to jealousy.
"People who are jealous often worry that you want to hang out with a friend of yours," Bennett told INSIDER. "So, they are trying to limit your social circle. If your partner is trying to force you to ignore friends or "clean" your subscribers on social networks, this could indicate jealousy. "
They track down your social media.
Nowadays, many relationships start on social media before turning into meetings, so having "like" several photos of yours to get your attention is not extraordinary. If you are in a relationship and this is happening or if everything you post is subject to discussion, then you may be dealing with a jealous partner.
"If you post a selfie, they will be the first to like it," Amido Graber, an expert with TruthFinder, told INSIDER. "If you check in at Bar A when you tell them you're going to Bar B, you'll receive an SMS about it before you even put down your cell phone. They liked the photos you posted on Instagram more than a year ago. These are all warning signs that this person is following you too closely. Another example might be their random reference to the time you visited Thailand a few years ago, but you never told them that. If someone has tracked your profiles on social networks, they may give themselves knowing a little too much about you. "
There is a problem if you even mention someone else.
According to Graber, jealous partners also find it hard to mention any one of your past or even your current life – especially if it's someone who , according to you, could attract you a little.
"If you mention a friend by the way, and that they immediately become tense, that's a sign," she says. "They may be making a sarcastic comment or just plainly appear in a dark mood, but you have the distinct impression that they did not like the fact that you mentioned somebody who was dying. other. These jealous behaviors can begin as a small, indented comment, but they can escalate over time. "
They accuse you of cheating all the time – even if they say they "joke".
Having a partner with whom you can laugh and joke with anything is literally a sending of God. When your infidelities – imaginary or real – become the subject of jokes all the time, you surely have to deal with a jealous partner.
"Has your partner ever accused you of cheating, even joking?" Graber said. "At the beginning of a relationship, a jealous partner can pass his comments for humor – but they often come back on the subject. Do they get nervous when you spend time on your cell phone or ask to see your text messages? All of these signs are strong signs that someone has a jealous personality. "
They argue with you every time you go out.
Watching yourself while you are outside or sitting quietly with an attitude is two signs of jealousy when you spend time away from your partner, but Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford, forensic psychologist, relationship therapist and expert, told INSIDER to start a huge battle before you leave is also a sign you should pay attention to.
"If they choose small fights with you when you are about to go out or at an event, it is that you do not go out or leave to be able to leave the house. event earlier, "she said. "The purpose of this action is to limit and / or prevent any possibility for the other partner to meet or socialize with someone else." The goal is to isolate or anger your partner so they do not feel like going out or staying at the event. "
They try to control your behavior.
Setting boundaries with your partner about what you like and do not like is very typical in relationships. It becomes a problem when your partner does his best to tell you what to do and how to do it, said Bates-Duford.
"If your partner demands that you make compliments at all times, it is a sign of control and a sign of jealousy, "she said. "Other things, like not disagreeing with them in front of others or asking you to pay attention to them and only to them, are things you should be careful about, too."
You must provide details on everything you do.
Treating as if you were a child in a relationship is far from healthy and Bates-Duford said it was a telling sign of your relationship with a jealous partner.
"Whenever your partner is unable to report your location, he wants you to provide him with a detailed account to" fill in the gaps, "she said." This is done to keep up with who you are and what you are doing. A jealous partner is looking for a "theme" to identify and determine if you spend too much time with a particular person. "
They act as if they do not care.
In most healthy relationships, partners tend to engage in conversations with others. Whether a partner knows more about additional people in a conversation than his or her partner or not, the idea is to work well together and show the unison. However, if your partner chooses to let you hang every time, Caleb Backe – health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics – told INSIDER that it was likely that you are dealing with a jealous partner .
"If your important partner seems to ignore you when you talk to other people and pretend that they do not care, that means they do not care anymore," he declared. "Pay attention to how they act towards you in social contexts."
They are trying too hard to win you.
If you are with a jealous partner, you will notice that he will do everything possible to do things that will make you show appreciation. This may seem pleasant at first, but after a while you will notice that something is just wrong.
"If your partner feels jealous, he will do everything possible to make you appreciate," said Backe. "They will do everything in their power to make you feel the need to reassure them that you only have eyes for them and that they have no reason to worry."
Visit the INSIDER homepage for more information.
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