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Playing for money, he received it from his grandmother and his father. They played black lottery, played in the pub or played cards with friends around the pot. When Marco Smit (53) went to stay with her grandmother as a little boy, she had a vase full of dimes, quarters and pennies – the stakes when they started clover. "The cards are fun, said my grandmother, but it has to be something." In the case of the marbles, Smit did not care either about the game.
So everything seemed innocent, the games of children. But he would become addicted to the game for over thirty years. "The last ten or fifteen years, I knew I had a problem, but know and do something about it: there is a world between them."
The first time that he has threw a coin in a slot machine, he was 15 years old. The money that he earned with his diary and the tips he took with the New Year's cards, he put a slot machine in a snack in Amersfoort. "I had to wait for the chip shop and thought: let me try."
It was the beginning, later he went "at full speed". He knew exactly which snack bars had a slot machine and how much they were full of money. He became superstitious: "Then I had the idea that it was my lucky day and that I had to go to some closet because it was going to pay today. C & # 39; 39; is addiction that speaks. "
In addition to the desire to see three cherries, lemons or watermelons in a row, Smit has raised money in high school . "At every break or free time we went, up to 100 florins per box." It was a lot of money for a student, he paid for his work in a department store. "If I had the first hour off, we started at half past ten at the cafe & # 39; t Hoekje in Amersfoort." During this period, he sometimes borrowed money from his peers from class and had financial problems for the first time
in the twenties was and lived with Henneke, with whom he is married. "With an authorization I had forged, I took money out of it.It was the first time I crossed borders."
J & # 39; was lying next to her when she took a soothing pill and that she knew that I was causing her stress.
Marco Smit
Slowly, a double life began. Lying, manipulating, intercepting the mail, so that his wife does not see his expenses. "I copied the bank statements to Word and took the amounts that I had taken." He borrowed $ 5,000 from a friend and gave Henneke's car as collateral. When a bailiff stood on the sidewalk, he told him: I'll take care of it. When she asked for an explanation later: "It's a parking ticket that has slipped." Or: "I did not pay my health insurance, it is a misunderstanding". On weekdays, he was walking past the house for the mail, Saturday, he searched the postman in the neighborhood. "I was constantly working to make sure things were not working, it took so much energy, what I have now." That has more ex-addicts, he said. he. He now stops making energy in the soup, "I like to cut the vegetables"
Fifteen times the pins
After the meao he started working, first to a courier service, later as a rental manager. His field work – always on the road – he might well combine with his addiction. "As I was winning more, the bet has gone up.It's just like drug use, you have to experiment more and more with the same jostling." Sometimes he peels ten to fifteen times a day, from 100 to 200 euros at a time. "I put alerts on my phone. If my salary or my family allowances were paid, I received a notification. "It 's always introduced: I try it with 100 euros and then I leave. "I've never been successful, you do not know if you're going to win or lose in the game." That tension is part of the addiction. "The anger you feel if you do not succeed is also adrenaline "So you continue to play." Even when his wife was afraid of post-mortem and panicky attacks by the bailiffs, she went to the doctor for Seroxat – even then he did not stop. Was lying in bed next to her when she took a sedative pill and that she knew that I was the cause of her stress. "
To read also: Dependence is according to these four scientists a brain disease
He did not consider how much he lost, but he think at least a ton. "Especially in the last few years, it went quickly.You think for a long time: if this or that happens, then I stop.We were going to buy a house, it was at a time when I was playing less It is a beautiful event to live in, so the game stops, but it did not stop … Getting married: it did not stop. I had a child and that my wife and son had to stay in the hospital one night, I stopped on the way back to a slot machine.It was in 2005. From there moment, it took another ten years. "
When Smit lost a lot in one day, he did not feel the pain, but he was never euphoric. "If you win 2,500 euros, you simply think: so I can also win 5,000 euros.The players always think that they can recover all the money they've lost.And then stop." "
But players almost never stop, he said. They are exposed or go rock bottom. This happened to him three years ago on Friday the 13th. Henneke received a letter stating that the mortgage had not been fully written off. She called the bank and they said: we see that your husband is betting on the admission behavior. "If you buy a Fairplay pint in a chain of casinos, there are three crosses on the transaction overview.After that, they know at the bank what time it is.They can not say it, but I do not do not blame them. "
Henneke had suspicions of course before, but until then he had always denied it. Sometimes charming, sometimes aggressive. Why not now? "I could not maintain the network of lies, he caught me."
His wife was furious, did not know if she wanted to stay with him. She reported it to a support group specializing in gambling addiction. He saw group sessions that he knew in American movies, "AA meetings." Yet these meetings worked. "This recognition, that you know: I'm not the only one to have done that, from that moment a sense of calm has come to me."
His wife now manages her finances and assures that his debts ("3,000 euros extra to a family member") are repaid and that the mortgage can be written off. With it is also better: more sedation pills.
Smit has not thrown a coin into a slot machine for three years now. "I have a debit card with which I can take a sandwich and refuel and that suits me well."
Kick the ass
He quit his job and now works in his own company. He accompanies gambling and gambling addicts as part of the specialized GGZ, as well as the person who helped him. Their approach is more direct than with other institutions, he says. "I know from experience: a kick under the ass does not feel the snags of the game, this shoe must go in the ass.You must feel pain to move."
Read also: How casinos push an addict to the abyss
Players do not meet appointments and procrastinate – he knows. If a customer says that he will call for a debt settlement this week, Smit says: call now. "At home, they do not have the opportunity to invent excuses." According to him, they also do differently: actively involve the environment in therapy. "We teach family and friends to recognize the signs of a relapse.For example, if an addict has the urge to play again and shares this with someone in his environment, then he has learned what he can do to reduce the urge. "Sometimes it is very simple, an attentive ear can suffice."
He did not lose any of his senses. friends since its release. "With most people, the group has become stronger, conversations are less superficial, and when I talk about my addiction, I quickly get stories," I drink too much at times. "Or," my relationship is not good " Or: "financially we have trouble." Something is playing everywhere. "
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