Calum Henderson: Gordon Ramsay's new show is pure hell

COMMENT: This is Gordon Ramsay as you have never seen him before: he wears a fake mustache and whiskers, wearing a flat cap and features that make him look like a minor character on Only Fools and Horses

This ridiculous disguise sums up somehow his last restaurant rescue show, Gordon Ramsay 24 Hours To Hell And Back . A little funny, but … let's say that a shark appeared at any moment of the episode, he would have had no qualms about jumping over it.

He was deeply hidden at Bella Gianna, an Italian family restaurant in upstate New York, where things had been a little past in Fawlty Towers. The service was openly hostile, the food so bad that it defied description. A dish of poorly cooked veal, Ramsay stammered, looking for something to compare, was "like the underside of my grandfather's panties."

One of the actors playing a member of his family allegedly started Ramsaying Ramsay. "It looks like a placenta," she mocked. "I will not give it to my dog." Could the bad boy from reality TV shows lose his touch?

There were still some glimpses of the classic Ramsay. "I just attended one of the most dreadful breakfasts I've ever eaten," after removing the fake favorites and shutting down the half-service restaurant. "I'm surprised you can stand right with this chip on your shoulder," the restaurant manager. That sort of thing.

The director, Vinny, was the root of all Bella Gianna's problems. Hidden camera footage revealed that a man was falling apart: he shouted insults to his staff for a minute, he sobered inconsolably the next.

What Vinny needed, it was hours and hours of therapy. what he got was a 24 hour restaurant restoration and a bollocking of a famous chef.

The 24 hours to hell and back began at 5 pm tonight. "Hell", in the context of this show, is a huge truck that has unfolded as the most disappointing processor in the world to become a fully operational restaurant kitchen.

From there, a team wearing "Team Ramsay" T-shirts emerged. He gave the kitchen staff a crash course on how to cook the veal.

Inside, another group of crews rejuvenated the dining room, while Ramsay himself discovered the atrocities in the freezer. I've always witnessed that.

He also sat down with Vinny and asked, as a qualified counselor might, "what's wrong with you?"

"Resentment, anger, alienation – a lot of things," replied Vinny. Never mind. Nothing new in the dining room and a kitchen full of appliances Breville should not be repaired

In theory, 24 Hours to Hell and Back should be brilliant – Ramsay as a kind of culinary Jack Bauer, a giant countdown, the liberal use of the shared screen , a big truck.

In reality, however, the first episode just felt a bit like going through the motions. Report covers of Cooking Nightmares .

• The 24 Hours of Gordon Ramsay in Hell and Back, Mondays, 8:30 pm, TVNZ 2