Portion control and a personal trainer helped me lose 150 pounds.

My name is Aillia Milsun (@aillia.sophia), and I am 28 years old. I live in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and am a registered nurse at Forsyth Medical Center. Focusing on portion control and hiring a personal trainer has helped me lose 150 pounds and experience the best of myself.

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I was overweight most of my life. In sixth grade, I weighed 227 pounds (more than I currently weigh at 28). I lived a sedentary life as a child, eating mostly junk food, rice, and noodles. I was chosen at school and also by my family. Because of the bullying, I have tried most of my life to stay in the shadows to avoid being teased. At 21, I weighed 340 pounds.

I was tired and short of breath all the time. I was also put on blood pressure medication when I was 19. I was too embarrassed to even tell my family. I also had very serious knee problems and pain in my feet from the weight I had to bear for so long. My mom has type 2 diabetes, so I was worried that my lifestyle would cause me to have the disease. I saw the consequences it cost him and I knew that at my weight, I was putting myself at risk for health problems.

In 2012, I lost 150 pounds by changing my diet and activity, but recovered after a traumatic experience.

I had lived healthier for a while and finally met the love of my life. In 2016, he tragically died unexpectedly. It was the most difficult experience I have ever had. It was so difficult to deal with, and with the stress of starting nursing school combined with the heartache, my weight climbed back to 280 pounds in 2017.

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I ate anything and everything because I didn’t care about life anymore. I was going through a really dark time and was not happy with my life or who I had become. I realized, even though I couldn’t control death, my weight and how I felt about myself were things that I could control. I had already lost weight and knew I could do it again.

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This was not only the start of my weight loss journey, but also the start of self-love.

I knew I had to find a way to always enjoy the foods I love, but being careful with the portions. When choosing a diet, you need to do what is realistic for you. I know keto is a big deal right now, but it was an unrealistic diet for me. I’m Asian and I enjoy rice and noodles. I couldn’t tell no carbs, but I couldn’t eat them in large portions like before. No more binge eating.

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I realized it wasn’t necessarily what I ate, but how much I ate in combination with a non-active lifestyle. Learning to measure and control my portions was really hard and hard to learn. I am also a night nurse, but have found a meal schedule that works for me.

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Here is what I usually eat in a day.

• Breakfast: Green smoothie made with spinach or kale, frozen fruit and yogurt. I add a few eggs, boiled or scrambled, if I want more protein.
• Lunch: Chicken or seafood with the vegetables I have on hand. For me it’s usually green beans, asparagus or spinach.
• Snacks: Avocado on multigrain toast, hard-boiled eggs, pretzels or yogurt.
• Having dinner: If I’m at work I’ll have a salad with baked fries. If I’m at home, I’ll either make another green smoothie or have some leftover lunch, depending on my hunger or activity level for the day.
• Dessert: I don’t have a lot of greed. But when I do, I usually have frozen yogurt or high protein ice cream in my freezer that I can enjoy in moderation.

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At my heaviest activities, even the most basic activities like walking were exhausting. I remember in my gymnastics class in high school I couldn’t even complete the mile! When I first started training at 340 pounds, I admit it was only because I was forced to take a fitness class for an academic requirement in college.

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So I started out with basic cardio like the stationary bike, but it was still a jump without doing any exercise.

I started exploring different machines and increasing my time and intensity. As the pounds started to drop, I got more motivation. In 2018 when I decided to take back control of my life, I was not at my optimal fitness level, but I jumped again and learned to rebuild my strength.

I also have a trainer, which is amazing! Currently, I work an average of five days a week and see my trainer about two to three times a week. The gym has been very therapeutic for me and apart from losing weight has been a stress reducer and helped with my anxiety.

These three small changes had a huge impact on my overall weight loss.

• I made a mental commitment to achieving my goals. My first major change changed my mindset. Whether it’s for weight loss or any other change you want, if you’re not emotionally engaged, change won’t happen. I had to realize that if I didn’t want to be that person anymore, I was the only one with the power to change the situation.

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• I have a trainer. My second big change was having a coach that I was comfortable with. My trainer pushes me and teaches me new fitness exercises that keep my routine different. I used to only do indoor cardio because that’s all I knew how to do, but he pushed me to do weight training which made me stronger than ever. Having a trainer isn’t necessary for weight loss, but it definitely helps if someone motivates you and holds you accountable for your goals.

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• I learned self-love and made a commitment to do it. Learning to love myself throughout this process has been a major change on this weight loss journey. This part can be more difficult than the weight loss itself, but it is essential in the journey. You have to love yourself and believe in yourself to know that you are worthy and that you can do it.

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In total, I lost 150 pounds.

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It’s been a top-down battle for seven years. Recently (since 2018) I have lost around 90 pounds. I am still a work in progress but enjoy the trip.

I want women to know if you’re unhappy with where you are now, it’s never too late. There is always a chance for change for those who are willing to put in the effort. It is normal that the trip is also imperfect. Life is coming, but we have to get up and keep pushing.

A friend told me that if she was gaining weight like me, she would have just stopped. I told him the second time was actually easier because I already knew I could do it. I have lost weight once before and I could do it again. This time, I love myself the whole way. Losing weight is only half the process – the other half learns to love yourself and your body throughout the journey.

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