Six people secretly traveling for Thanksgiving

The advice of the experts has been strong, unanimous and, in recent days, more and more desperate: Please stay home for Thanksgiving. With the pandemic sweeping across the country, even small holiday gatherings threaten to fuel exponential viral growth in the weeks to come, and hospitals across the country are already at breaking point. But the trip is still legal, and millions of Americans are making the return trip; Sunday was the busiest day at airports since March. Eight months after the start of the pandemic, many people are tired of sacrificing their own mental health and emotional well-being to fulfill a broader public health mandate. Others feel confident that they can mitigate their own risks, but not so confident that they plan to release their plans – instead, they choose to keep them a secret from friends and followers. We spoke to six people about how they’re streamlining their Thanksgiving plans this year.

I know that we are not special and that I am not allowed to see my family. I am not smarter or I am not doing it more safely. I struggled a lot.

Having said that, I’m also selfish, and I’m human, and I haven’t seen my mom for a year. My sister just went through a major health crisis, and my mother couldn’t have been there for it; it was traumatic for all of us. My mother is 76 years old and I fear losing a year with her. The responsible thing to do probably would have been not to travel on vacation and just find another way, but we make the choice. My mom lives on her own in several states away from her children, and I can’t stand the thought of having gone a year without seeing her. I wanted her to party a little and bring him some joy.

I live in a rural location. I don’t interact with people. We have no children. I can’t tell you the last time I was at someone’s house without a mask. We drive straight from home in upstate New York to its place in the Midwest – it’s a nine-and-a-half-hour drive – bringing all of our groceries and food for the ride with us. Once there, we will remain masked inside and have no physical contact. We will only remove the masks to eat. Unfortunately, we were unable to pass any tests. There is no place in our region for walk-in tours. We tried to get an appointment by signing up online three nights in a row – all appointments were gone in two seconds. It was so frustrating.

I have a friend or two that I consult and use as a sounding board for what I feel is safe and responsible. With other people, I tried to stay vague, like, “We might be thinking about going to the Midwest. We do not know. We will wait to see what the numbers are. That’s how I kept it a little secret, but I knew we were going to go no matter what.

My dad and all my siblings are based on the west coast so I’m going to visit them. Thanksgiving is the only time I see my family every year. And, frankly, I just need a change of scenery.

A lot of my friends are the kind of people who are in the middle of their “forever plans.” They are simply extremely comfortable and their main concern in life is that their status quo is not disturbed. Their mentality is like: Everyone follows the rules and plays the game; we planned something and imagined something about the appearance of our lives. If the world succumbs to this virus, they fear it will be taken away from them. I do not have that. I am in a bit of a transient state in my life where I live in a 500 square foot apartment. It is not a permanent place; I have no permanent furniture. I’m not that comfortable here, and I have all of these aspects of my life spread out in different places. But I can’t really dismiss the idea of ​​traveling out of my friends. I feel like I have to sort of get away from them because they’re like, This is the person who will spread COVID. But when I talk to my family in California, they say, “Are you allowed to buy a plane ticket and get on the plane?” And I’m like, ‘Yeah’, and they say, ‘Okay, the rules allow that. What does the rest matter? “

I kind of want to be selfish for a second. I’m just going crazy here. I don’t even know what I want or what could possibly improve things. I know there is moral hazard in all of this, but at this point I’m much more concerned with my sanity.

Will I take a test? To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about it. I probably will. At this point, I know I’m on the verge of COVID denial, but I really am not. I’m just oblivious to the conversation around him.

My partner’s family is in New Jersey. Her mom is very social and loves to throw parties and gatherings, so no one will tell her not to celebrate Thanksgiving. I said, “Okay, if you’ve taken precautions and we stay outside near the fireplace, we’ll go.” We are in semi-quarantine this week. I’m going to work, but no one comes near me here. I have an office and I drive. Also, we don’t see any friends this weekend. My partner’s parents are much younger than mine, so the risk is lower. And it’s less far to travel – it feels like you’re part of the same region. But I asked his mother not to post any photos on Facebook, especially since we had told my family we couldn’t come because of COVID. I’m not trying to rub their faces.

We were going to get tested, but my friend said the queue goes on for hours and hours because everyone is trying to do it now, so I don’t think we’re actually going to get tested. Plus, the test just says you don’t have it at the time; you can still get it the next day.

I am a student in Springfield, Missouri, but I also work part time. My college goes online after Thanksgiving, so most of my classmates don’t come back after the break. But I have to come back and go to work.

I travel about 500 miles to visit my family in Chicago. Illinois has more quarantine restrictions and lockdown rules than the state I’m in, so I’m not really going to try to go on vacation or anything. I’m just going to visit my family. I take a free test from my school before I leave.

I distance myself as much as possible from my family socially while still visiting them, like staying in a hotel room instead of staying at home. No one in my house is high risk at all, and everyone has been quarantined, wore masks, and followed all guidelines. I’m afraid I might put them at risk. But when I talked to my parents about it, they just said, “We don’t care. We miss you. We want to see you. “

I didn’t tell my office at all because I’m worried that when I get back they want me to quarantine for two weeks. As a part-time employee, I won’t be entitled to any compensation during that two-week period, and it’s just not something I can manage financially.

Now every time I do something social I try to avoid putting it on social media. It’s definitely something I feel embarrassed about. I know other people have strong opinions.

We live in New York and the plan is to go to Thanksgiving with my fiance’s family in Connecticut. The CEO of my company basically said, “If you leave New York State for Thanksgiving, then you have to quarantine yourself for 14 days after you return.” I just thought it was so crazy. Like, how bad is that? It seems like such an extreme reaction, especially since we hardly ever walk into the office anymore.

I think I’m just going to make a judgment and kind of go my way and be good and careful. At the end of the day, the only thing I can do for sure before returning to the office is take a COVID test, which I think will be required of everyone anyway, right?

Our plan is to have an outdoor Thanksgiving in a tent with heat lamps that his family has ordered. We’re just going to drive for the day and then come back to town.

I haven’t posted anything on social media this fall. If it’s a friend’s birthday and we’re having dinner out, I’ll do my traditional “it’s so fun!” birthday messages because it’s absolutely okay and obviously legal to do, but I’ve been very careful about what I do because I don’t want people to pass judgment on my behavior. I took it very seriously. My partner just returned from California and we did the four day quarantine on his return. He took a COVID test before coming home and took a quick test four days later. We will probably do two tests before we go to see his family this weekend.

The CDC tells people not to travel and all the messages around it have definitely changed our perspective. If I had to fly I don’t think I would. We are now having a small family reunion just because people are more afraid.

I live in Brooklyn and am going to Long Island to see my family. I went home for a bit in my forties because my parents live nearby and I live alone. But when I was on the phone with my mom earlier this weekend, I told her, “I feel a lot more nervous because the messages around Thanksgiving have been so intensified as to scare me.” I was just like, “I can’t go home. I must stay put. And she was just like, “You were literally home a week and a half ago. You haven’t done anything since, except go to the park. That’s not to say that coming home isn’t always risky – obviously, it always is. But the previous months, I have curled up; I’ve had regular tests to make sure I’m okay; and then, after a few days, I went home to see my parents. In theory, Thanksgiving shouldn’t be any different.

Public posts seem reasonable in some ways because you don’t want people to cross the country to see their families. My whole family, which numbers nine, have come together throughout the coronavirus pandemic, and I am the exception. And I took as much care as I could throughout it all.

For the moment, they are coming on Wednesday to pick me up. I basically told them that if anything changes by then, and if I don’t feel comfortable coming home for some reason, I won’t. Friday I tested negative and am doing another test today. I have the impression that my situation is a little different, because I see my family with a certain regularity. The stakes are therefore a little lower for me. If I miss Thanksgiving with my parents, it’s not the end of the world, because I know I’ll probably be seeing them again in a few weeks anyway.

Interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity, and names have been changed.