Stephen Colbert on Trump: "A toddler out of control"

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Late night guests were congratulated by Republicans and even congratulated Trump on being the most responsible for the growing tension between Iran and the United States.

Stephen Colbert: "An endless group of interested toads"

"We were looking forward to it and it finally happened. What we all expected, a Republican finally read the Mueller report, "Stephen Colbert opened. Referring to Michigan Congressman Justin Amash, who recently said Trump had an impenetrable behavior, Colbert then apologized.

He said, "Now I know I'm having a hard time with the GOP and often suggest that you are a headless group of interested toads who would rather see the country destroyed than standing up to an uncontrollable toddler. I was wrong … on one of you.

Former presidential candidate Mitt Romney described Amash's statement as "courageous", though he did not support his call for dismissal. Colbert mocked Romney saying, "Yes, his statement is brave. I chose not to embark on courage. "

Trump targeted Amash, denigrating his words in tweets. Colbert hinted that it paid more attention to Amash's words, even playing a little dance and a song as he imitated Trump. "If Trump did not send a tweet about it, Amash would be a three-page report, like a war with Iran."

Colbert then addressed the brewing tensions with Iran, congratulating Trump at one point for being the voice of reason – but he then made a joke about how he lost consciousness because the phrase was so strange. Trump said that he did not want to go to war, but then seemed to reverse his position in a tweet. Colbert laughed at him, leaning once more in his imitation of Trump. "All I'm saying is, give peace a chance. It's been 24 hours? Fire at will."

Seth Meyers: "I can not believe I'm saying this: go play golf"

Seth Meyers took a closer look at the tensions between the United States and Iran. He started by showing clips of Trump saying that the war in Iraq was a big mistake. In the clips, Trump, then presidential candidate, repeatedly said that the war in Iraq was a mistake and that if the presidents came to the beach or golf, there would be no war in Iraq .

Meyers joked that the golf suggestion was an ulterior motive. "Well, that's definitely a promise he's made." Meyers then spoke of Trump's pivotal post as an anti-war candidate threatening Iran on Sunday. "I can not believe I'm saying that, but go play golf. It is now a matter of national security that we make sure that Trump spends as much time as possible on the golf course. "

Trump's national security advisor, John Bolton, seems to be the one who is urging this war message, but Trump said he "tempers" Bolton, what he calls "pretty incredible." Meyers used this as a munition: "Even Trump knows how crazy he is to be the voice of reason. I mean, think about what he says there. This joke only works if everyone knows that Trump is crazy. "

Meyers then slipped into a Trump identity theft. "Of course, I'm a job, but you should see this guy," he joked, to the applause of his audience. Meyers continued, "It's like fighting in a bar and breaking it up with Conor McGregor."

But even Trump himself seems unsure of how things are going, replying: "I hope not" when a reporter asked if the United States would go to war with the United States. Iran. "I hope not" is not an answer to the war with Iran. That's an answer to the question, "Do you think it's going to rain?"

Trevor Noah: "Three exceptions, it's always bullshit"

At the Daily Show, Trevor Noah focused on the ultra-restrictive abortion laws that sweep the United States. Noting that there was supposed to be a separation of church and state and that the governor of Alabama, Kay Ivey, had then signed the bill in the name of God Noah emphasized the pure hypocrisy of this act. The facilitator even pointed out an error: "I also read the Bible. And even though God loved children, he was not afraid to take away many when he wanted to.

Noah even considered the uniformity of lawmakers who passed the Alabama law. "It did not help that the legislators who put in place these abortion restrictions were the biggest sausage festival of all time." After showing a graph depicting the 25 deputies from the Senate of Alabama who passed the bill, Noah noted their absence. qualifications. "It's the people who decide what women in Alabama can do with their own bodies, which is crazy, because none of these men will ever be pregnant. It's as if the Amish were writing US cybersecurity laws. "

Even Trump and Romney opposed these restrictive laws, claiming that rape, incest and cases in which the mother's life would be in danger must be taken into account. Noah, however, found this dishonest. "You know what's crazy is that three weeks ago, Trump and Romney's position on abortion was extreme. But now, thanks to Alabama and Missouri, these guys behave like feminists. "

But Noah had none, saying to his audience, "Do not be deceived. Three exceptions are always bullshit, agree? You continue to deprive a woman of the right to choose. It's as simple as that. "

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