Survive the deepest stresses of life with these 8 skills:

Do you feel like living under a cloud of rain? Life is not going your way? Many of us have some of the anguish and sadness of Eeyore.

But here's the good news (sorry to be so cheerful): we can teach you to have a more positive attitude. And if you work there, a positive attitude can reduce anxiety and depression.

The latest evidence comes from a new study of caregivers, all of whom had the stressful job of caring for a loved one with dementia. The study found that after a 5-week course, participants' depression scores decreased by 16% and those of anxiety by 14%. The results are published in the last issue of Psychology of health.

The course teaches eight skills to help people deal with stress. The techniques include mindfulness and deep breathing, setting a daily reachable goal, keeping a journal of gratitude and – yes, it works – performing small acts of kindness.

Skeptical? Melissa Meltzer Warehall was too. She looks after her husband, Paul, who is 64 years old and has been diagnosed as suffering from early onset Alzheimer's disease in his fifties.

"It's very, very frustrating," Warehall says. "To know the man he was and the shell of the person that he is now."

When she agreed to participate in the study, it was a way to ask for help. She knew that she could not change her situation, but she wanted to learn how to cope better.

"When you have a lot of stress, it's easy to fall into a downward spiral," says Judith Moskowitz of Northwestern University. She has been trained as a psychologist and is studying how positive emotion can affect people's health and stress. She developed the program taught to caregivers.

As part of her research, hundreds of stressed people took the five-week training course, including women with breast cancer, newly diagnosed HIV-positive people, people with type 2 diabetes and people with depression. She documented the benefits of each of these studies.

"These skills can certainly help people no matter what kind of stress they experience, even though it's a minor" daily stress, "said Moskowitz.

Warehall says that she began to feel a trend towards sunnier prospects just weeks after the program began. A skill she has learned: how to reframe the daily worries of life into something positive.

For example, she says that it can be difficult to bring her husband out; she must be on her guard against her wandering. In addition, it has begun to struggle to navigate in and out of the car, and this can be frustrating for both. But instead of focusing on the disadvantages, she taught herself to spend those long moments consciously grateful for what they are still able to do together.

Although her husband could no longer work or go on a trip, she helped him rediscover the music. "I enrolled her at harmonica classes every Saturday," she says. And it's great for both. "Just being with him when he's making music – he's playing a nasty blues harmonica – that's wonderful for me too."

She learns to hang on to the positive moments that accompany stress. And that makes things easier. "Everything we do is a challenge, I'm looking for this silver lining," says Warehall.

But that does not come naturally, she says; she tried to build a habit of gratitude. Write one thing each day is a good reminder that there are still many moments of joy – despite their stressful situation.

"[Paul] my energy, and if my energy is positive, it's easier to take care of him, "said his wife.

She learned to focus on what isinstead of what is lost. "I remember that I still have it, I can always hug him and hold him and tell him I love him."

"In the context of stress, it can be difficult to see things positive," says Moskowitz. "So, taking a moment to notice the things you're grateful for is really beneficial."

Moskowitz says that she knows the hesitation or resentment that people sometimes feel when they are told, "Hey, everything's fine." "It's a difficult message to handle if you're in the grip of a serious diagnosis or other traumatic experience.

"We are not saying that we should not be sad or upset about what's going on," says Moskowitz. "But we know that people can experience positive emotions in addition to these negative emotions, and that these positive emotions can help them cope better."

She says these strategies and skills are widely applicable. "We can teach everyone to be a little more positive."

Moskowitz and her colleagues are about to launch another study of people caring for people with dementia (anyone interested in participating can contact their lab, she says). And while this particular program is not accessible to the general public outside the research project, Moskowitz points to an online program called "It's all good here" that teaches similar skills. (Moskowitz has consulted with the creator of the program to share content, but she has no financial ties to the company.)

She says that the strength of the eight-technique approach is that there is no single skill that can help everyone. "It's a skill buffet," says Moskowitz, which gives people plenty of options.

Here is a quick summary of the eight techniques used in the Moskowitz study:

1. Take a moment to identify a positive event each day.
2. Talk about this event to someone or share it on social networks. This can help you savor the moment a little longer.
3. Start a daily gratitude journal. Try to find small things that interest you, such as a good cup of coffee, a nice sunrise or a nice time.
4. Identify a personal strength and think about how you have used it today or in recent weeks.
5. Set a daily goal and track your progress. "This is based on research that shows that when we feel we are moving towards a goal, we have more positive emotions," said Moskowitz. The goal should not be too high. You want to be able to perceive progress.
6. Try to practice a "positive reassessment": identify an event or daily activity that bothers you. Then try to reframe the event in a more positive way. Example: If you are stuck in traffic, try to enjoy the calm weather. If you practice it enough, it can become a habit.
7. Do something good for someone else every day. These daily acts of kindness can be as simple as giving a smile to someone or giving up their place in a crowded train. Research shows that we feel better when we are kind to others.
8. Practice mindfulness by paying attention to the present moment. You can also try a 10 minute breathing exercise that focuses on breathing to help calm the mind.

Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, Ohio State University, did not participate in this study, but studied the effects of caregiving on the aging process.

"Our research and others clearly demonstrate that the stress of caring for families with dementia can have detrimental effects on physical and mental health," said Kiecolt-Glaser.

"This study used a simple intervention that had measurable positive benefits.It is a nice contribution to the literature, and I hope to see a broader implementation of this approach and similar approaches," says -she.