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Joelle Riding / EyeEm via Getty Images Malvika Padin has to prove again and again that she is depressed. (Icon)
Malvika Padin studies journalism, works, seems apparently normal and remains depressed. His illness is not typical: despite the depression, Padin can cope with his daily life, but suffers no less.
In his blog post, Padin describes a type of depression that many people do not know and how they live with their illness.
Every morning, I get up, do everything I need to do in the morning, go to class, smile at people and talk to them the way you want. I am a fully functional adult woman. What most people do not know: This fully functional adult woman suffers from depression and paralyzing anxiety disorders.
► "You do not look depressed."
► "Everything works for you, why should you be depressed?"
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► "You seem to be fine."
► "I'm sure it's only a phase."
If I ever had a penny, if someone wanted to encourage me (without much success) with such words, I would definitely have more to work on.
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When we think of depression, we think of people whose lives are in ruins
Of course, no one can be held responsible for such comments. Most people hear about depression and immediately think of the sobbing piece of a person who never gets up from bed and whose life is in shambles without anything happening.
None of these alleged characteristics of a depressed person applies to me. In that sense, I can not suffer from depression, right?
I work extremely well, on the outside, everything seems to be in order. I take my lessons and my work seriously, do not delay what I have to do, go out, meet people and laugh heartily.
But when I walk the streets, when I surf the social media, when I roll on the couch for a Netflix marathon, everything suddenly breaks in me. I am in tears, without any hope. I have a depressive phase. Something triggered it. Or maybe it was not triggered specifically, but it struck me – and certainly not just to say goodbye after a hello.
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It's not depression itself that's the real problem – of course, a The problem is. But the reaction of people to this is even more unpleasant than my scary mental state.
Even depressives work everyday
Working well is in itself a blessing. I can do things and take care of life and its possibilities. But many people do not fear that a depressed person, as well as a person in good mental health, can do anythingAnd no matter how much I try to explain it, the meaning of "hello, I'm depressed, but I'm not off" seems to ignore them.
The idea of a highly functional depression is seemingly alien to the man. And for the sick, it is exhausting to face this strange phenomenon. You must constantly check if you need help. On bad days, you feel bad because you have not made the most of yourself. And if everyone continues to tell you that you are not depressed, you start to question yourself. Self-doubt is never good for a mind already confused and beaten.
I can not "overcome my depression"
Although people may not fully understand the complexity of high functioning depression, I would like them to understand one thing: I can not "just overcome it"I need the same level of care and support as people with other mental (or physical) problems, both ordinary people and health professionals.
We are working but we are not doing well. I would be happy if people understood that. I would like to swim in every hundred that I would have had for the "words of encouragement" above.
But I would even prefer to have it, people have me accepted as I am. That they agree that I work perfectly but that I am depressed. And that I work every day to get better. The least you can do is understand that.
This text originally appeared in the American edition of HuffPost and was translated from English by Sandra Tjong.
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