Meet the compulsive Suasie "Olivia"

The doctors diagnosed the case of Katherine Benfield's obsessive-compulsive disorder only at the age of 31 and that she gave birth to her first child, although she was not diagnosed with the condition. she apparently suffered from illness all her life.

She has recovered through the treatment and invention of a personality who embodies her obsessive-compulsive disorder.

"She has big ears because she looks like a wild rabbit, listening to what's going on around her, she looks exhausted because she's suffered a lot and usually has a little panic, "she said.

"It can change too quickly, it can be quiet in a moment, but its mood changes, and suddenly, it feels that it is about to lose control, miserable and broken, and at worst, it is completely breeze."

You now know Olivia Olivia. It is a cartoon character created by Catherine that reflects the situation she has lived since childhood. The O character in Olivia OCD is an obsessive-compulsive disorder disorder.

Catherine says that people are often mistaken about OCD and that many people think that it is about people who have a hard time to please and organize the pens very precisely in the office, voluntarily.

In order to prevent one of her fears from being realized, Katherine felt compelled to commit a mental or physical act several times. Using appropriate terminology, fear is "obsession" and the frequent act is "compulsive". This relieved her temporarily of her anxiety but with the prospect of her return, forcing her to repeat her behavior again and again.

Katherine says that obsessive-compulsive disorder often affects kind people who care about others. "They are caring people who feel the needs of others, they love the people around them so much that they do everything in their power to hurt them."

When Katharine was between 4 and 5 years old, she spent long periods staring out the window waiting for the return of her family members, fearing to be hurt. "I thought that my silent stops would help them in one way or another to bring them home safely," says Catherine.

In her teens, Katherine was afraid to be the last to leave because she feared that the house would burn as soon as she left. If this happens, Katherine is forced to make sure that the stove is off and that the power connectors are closed. To make sure everyone was safe, Katherine closed the doors and windows and removed the risk of tripping as if she were under the influence of an irresistible force.

It can take hours and if any of them fail, Katherine can only restart the process.

As time passed and her concern for her studies and teaching became obsessive-compulsive, she had less impact on her life. The situation continued until she gave birth to her child at the age of 31, when she became ill.

"My mother was very unhappy," says Catherine. I was very exhausted and I could not do a lot of physical work, which gave me a good opportunity to think. Almost immediately, I started to stay awake all night to make sure my baby was breathing. We know that all parents do it with their children, especially newborns, but the feeling is that I can not get away from my child. I have not slept or eaten.

At first, she was horrified at the thought that something or anyone could be hurt. And then I started to worry about the possibility that she was hurting herself.

"I remember sitting on the couch looking at my mother-in-law carrying my baby in front of a wall, thinking how easy it was to get up and throw it against the wall, I could imagine the situation as a whole, it was very terrible, very detailed, alive, with pictures in my mind of my future and what I would have done with my family and my friends. "

Catherine did not know what had happened to her, but she was suffering from the obsessive-compulsive disorder that accompanies birth. The women who suffer from it do not carry out the events they perceive, but the ideas that assaulted Catherine made her anxious, depressed and isolated.

Catherine says: I did not know that he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. I thought I wanted to do that, I thought to myself, "What kind of mothers have such thoughts about their children ?!

Said psychiatrist psychiatrist d. Lynne Drummond Life events, whether they are bad or good, are often the cause of an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

"The birth of a child is a very important event in life, not to mention the question of someone who totally depends on you." Add to that the change of hormones as well as the feeling of Exhaustion and maybe depression and your body has undergone a huge change Physically you are at the bottom and emotionally you have to absorb the changes in your role (in life).

Catherine started to avoid anything that could hurt her child. She threw all the knives out of the house because she thought she was hurting him. She was terrified of approaching the station platform after having had the idea of ​​pushing him to the train. Finally, she became very worried about leaving home with her baby.

"I did not have the idea of ​​suicide, but I remember that at one point, I thought that if the worst happened and that I could not overcome it, the suicide would be my choice, "says Catherine. That was all I could have done. "

Katherine notes that no one, not even health professionals, was able to identify the symptoms she was experiencing. "I just got to the point where my husband said: 'You should see the doctor immediately', so we went to the doctor. I literally came in and in case I could only say: I'm in a state of anxiety and I'm going to hurt my child, and then I burst into tears.

The doctor at the clinic told Catherine that she was suffering from anxiety and described some drugs. But her condition still deteriorated when she tried to stop taking the medication. One day in desperation, Catherine used the Google search engine for "obsessive-compulsive disorder and fear of hurting her son" to end up in front of dozens of stories.

"I did not think it would have happened," she said. I thought I was a monster and immediately everything I thought and felt was written in front of me by the words of other people. "

Katherine was finally diagnosed via the Internet after experiencing an obsessive-compulsive disorder throughout her life. She then asked for medical help and started treatment about 18 months after giving birth. This included Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), a speech therapy that focuses on how thoughts and attitudes affect behavior and emotions. In addition to the treatment of "exposure and prevention of response" ERP in which you are asked to face and Ososk or your fears and resistance to the response to compulsive behavior.

Dr Lynne Drummond discusses "progressive exposure" ERP treatment:

What I do is that the patient creates a hierarchy of positions. I use a scale from zero to eight where zero means no tension, but eight means total panic. Let them put the anxiety that they feel without intervention to correct the situation. In other words, with compulsive behavior. I start with a behavior classified as three or four, of mild to moderate intensity, and encourage them to expose themselves to their fears for an hour or two without intervention to rectify the situation. They will discover that the anxiety will remain strong and very terrible, but that it will decrease with time and that each time it is repeated, it will be a little easier.

This treatment helps a lot, but Catherine has found a major obstacle to her recovery. "I could not continue to improve if I could not stand the fact that I was not really that monster," she says. Hence the idea of ​​Olivia.

Olivia was a way for Catherine to separate from her illness. Olivia embodies and whispers Catherine and her compulsive behavior. Catherine was pathetic about Olivia, which allowed her to pity on herself.

"If I have a very bad idea of ​​hurting someone, I imagine that Olivia hopes and that she is the one who panics." she's scared and so I'm going to feel it, "said Katherine. It will be like I'm saying, "Be careful, do not be silly, it's just a concern" and that's why I can update myself this way. "

Some time ago, while washing dishes one day, she thought of Olivia.

She immediately imagined what Olivia would look like and decided to write a blog.

Later, Catherine informed her husband, Pete, a visual artist, and painted the crumpled creature described by his wife. The effect was so immediate that Catherine went out and bought a set of knives.