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I walk the water in the icy sea. The sound of the waves and the screaming wind are stifled by the anguished cries of my entourage. My limbs are heavy. The cold pierces my muscles and cools me to the bones. I am so tired. Above, I see my mother and sister, arms stretched out towards me. But they are so far away. Those in white coats with stethoscopes are closer. I raise my arms to reach them. Although they are not close enough to take me out, they could still hold me back so that I do not drown. But they do not move. Of the hundreds of them, only a hand is reaching out. We are too many in the water and too unwilling to help. My energy is exhausted now. I have been walking in this sea for too long. I just want to stop.
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<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "That's what it looks like to live a undiagnosed state of health: being lost in a sea of undiagnosed people in a health system down. Your loved ones are too far away to help you. Doctors, those who can help, choose not to find or can not find a way to do it. "Data-reactid =" 24 "> This is what it feels like to live with an undiagnosed health problem: being lost in a sea of undiagnosed people in a ruined health system Your loved ones are too far away to Doctors, those who can help, choose not to or can not find a way to do it.
My life has not always been like that. Until seven years ago, I was like the majority of people, enjoying my life on the land of healthy people. I only went out into the water with my severe seasonal allergies and undiagnosed leg pain, so I did not know who was suffering far from the shore. Naive I was, thinking that all doctors can help you, if not able to heal you, then at least heal you. I could not imagine the idea that doctors do not have the will or the ability to help their patients.
Then I got sick.
<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "It started as painful headache. In the eighth grade, he attacked unsuspectingly in the second lap of the 1600m. Despite the intense pounding and sharp pain that flooded my head, I finished the race. I thought I could sleep without relieving my pain: calm down for the rest of the day, have a good night's sleep and the migraine would have disappeared. Except that she never left. "Data-reactid =" 27 "> It started with a painful headache In the spring of the eighth year, he attacked unsuspectingly during the second lap of the 1600m, which flooded my head, I finished the race and I thought I could sleep without pain: stay quiet for the rest of the day, have a good night's sleep and the headache would have disappeared.
<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "Related:A flawless stay What would I do if I knew that I would not be judged for my illness"data-reactid =" 28 ">Related:What would I do if I knew that I would not be judged for my illness
To this day, he passes with me every moment of his awakening, turning into a migraine at least once a day. At first I tried to cure myself with over-the-counter ibuprofen. But as the days went by, my mother's worries grew with the pain. She decided to take me to the emergency room for the first time – and for the last time. The emergency doctor told me blatantly that I was lying, that I was pretending and that I was just another teenager looking for attention. I sat in shock. Why should I simulate constant pain? Why would I want to be tortured by my beloved trumpet or running? Reluctantly, she inserted the intravenous infusion into my left arm to administer fluids and medications and then programmed me for a CT scan. After spending an hour in the torture chamber and several others waiting for her return, she returned to my room with a broad smile. "Good news, Michelle. Your scanner is clean, "she says. "You are completely healthy. Did intravenous drugs really help to relieve pain, did not it? I look at her in disbelief, tears threatening to flow. Plastering a smile on my face, I nodded and thanked her. While we were returning to the car on the parking lot, Mom asked me if the medications really helped to relieve my pain. "No," I said softly, pain taking my breath away. "But do you think she would have thought or listened to me?" I sighed and found myself on the back seat of the car, resigned.
<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "Related:A flawless stay How is it to travel when we can not sit down?"data-reactid =" 30 ">Related:How is it to travel when we can not sit down?
If only that would stop there.
<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "Almost a year after the beginning of the evils head, after the myriad of blood tests and scans, after countless neurology appointments and a second opinion, and after several trials of drugs that have only made me sicker, my health Murphy's Law My body was destroyed by pain: joint pain, Back ache, musculoskeletal pain, chronic nausea, and the list goes on. And with that has come the repeated cycle of doctor appointments, medical examinations, normal results and drug trials, or, more often than not, reproach and skepticism. "Data-reactid =" 32 "> Nearly a year after the onset of headaches, after a myriad analyzes and blood tests, after countless neurology appointments and a second opinion, and after several drug tests that only made me sicker, my health deteriorated Murphy's Law My body was destroyed by pain: joint pain, back pain Musculoskeletal pain, chronic nausea, etc., were followed by repeated cycles of doctor appointments, medical examinations, normal results, and drug testing, or, more often, blame and skepticism.
<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "And during all this process, during repeated cycles and the daily chronic painI had to live my life. Or at least, try to be a normal high school student and now a student. These attempts at normalization have only negatively affected my relationships with the doctors – they do not think my pain is as bad as I say. "Data-reactid =" 33 "> And during all this process, during repeated cycles and daily chronic pain, I had to live my life, or at least try to be a normal high school student and now a These attempts at standardization have only negatively affected my relationship with the doctors – they do not believe my pain is as severe as I say.
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