"When they see us": I am a black man with a teenage son. I still can not bring myself to watch him

Why do some TV shows and movies generate such emotions in us? David Ewoldsen, professor of media and information at Michigan State University, said that it was Because to consume a story by a visual means is a very particular mode of engagement.

"One of our motivations for engaging in stories is to escape from ordinary life," Ewoldsen said. But the sobering world of "When they see us" – decades old but still very real for many African Americans in 2019 – does not give us that break.

"This is not an escape from our daily stress," said Ewoldsen. "We tend, when we watch TV or a movie, to put ourselves in it."

It could have been me … or my son

The police forced the teenagers to make false confessions, which were sentenced despite the absence of direct evidence linking them to the crime. They spent years in jail before a serial rapist confessed to having raped her. Genetic evidence exempted them and their convictions were overturned in 2002. The case has become a turning point in the fight against systematic racism in the justice system.

I am grateful that none of my meetings with the police resulted in my death or wrongful incarceration, but some were frightening.

I remember particularly what happened at about the time when the Central Park Five affair dominated the headlines of the nation. When I was a student at Arkansas State University on a Saturday morning, I was late for my job at the school cafeteria. As I walked halfway, halfway through the campus, a police car arrived and an officer opened the door with his gun in his hand. He demanded my identity card because I "fit the description" of someone who had just committed a crime nearby. I handed him my driver's license and he examined it while looking at my face.

"No, it's not him," he says to someone on the radio, looking almost disappointed. He pushed the license into my hand and jumped into his car without even a "sorry to bother you, sir".

I often think back to this day. What if I did not have my license? Would he have taken me into custody? What happened to me then?

My story could have corresponded to countless recent tragic accounts of African-American victims of violence by the police.

I realize now that my reaction to "When they see us" is related to these two points of view: I could have been one of the five in Central Park and my son too.

We yearn for escape, not real world stress, in our entertainment

It's not just me. Many other people of color tell how they can not bring themselves to watch "When they see us" or stop watching along the way.

Some even compared the reaction to "When They See Us" to the reaction of many African Americans to the television miniseries "Roots," which propelled the horrors of slavery into living rooms in 1977.

Ewoldsen, the film teacher, has said that human beings are wired to be moved by what we see on the screen.

"We are a visual species," he said. "We show incredibly fast reactions to visual images."

And he's right when he says that we can not help but share the emotions of TV or movie characters that resemble us.

Looking at the trailer "When they see us", I imagined that I was (or my son) one of those teenagers, desperately trying to reason with the cops determined to throw me in. jail. And then, I imagined that I was one of their parents, doing my best to protect my son while feeling increasingly helpless against the relentless power of the criminal justice system. .

I'm not a big fan of the word "trigger," but I think that's what the DuVernay miniseries does for many blacks and browns. Triggering memories of their own frightening encounters with the police. Trying memories of their sons and husbands who have never returned home after being arrested.

It turns out that I am not the only one to feel this.

Other people of color also have trouble watching it

The media are full of images of black trauma. Viral stories of people harassed to live essentially in black. YouTube videos of people of color arrested by the police. Movies about slavery and Jim Crow. New black body clips lying under sheets in urban streets.

I spoke to a young woman named Rhema White, who lives in Stonecrest, Georgia, and who feels overwhelmed by all this.

She wanted to watch "When They See Us" Saturday after returning from the movies, but stopped.

"I saw all the tweets about it, but I realized that I did not want to subject myself to that for the moment," said White, 24 years old.

"I just have the impression that we always see these things on the news, it can be too much," she said. "Some people seem to be addicted to feeling bad, I want to protect myself from that, I do not want that in my mind."

White believes people need to understand what happened at Central Park Five. She will try again to watch the mini-series this weekend – alone – and then discuss it with friends who have already seen it.

Everett said that she was planning to watch "When they see us" this weekend and both anticipate and dread it.

"We tend to have what we call primary identification with the actors on the screen … (which means we recognize how certain media messages move and affect our emotions," he said). she said in an email.

"They cause either pleasure or pain, sometimes both simultaneously (for example, the kind of horror), so we plan to be drawn into the powerful narrative of this story that we have chosen to" witness "in looking at this representation, or avoid it by missing it. "

A woman could only watch 10 minutes before she stopped

It's the same mix of emotions that Natasha Carter said I felt when she tried to watch "When They See Us" over the weekend.

"But every time I seriously thought about lighting it up, I was worried that it would get on my nerves or annoy me, so I did not look at it," Carter said. in Bensalem, in the suburbs of Philadelphia.

She tried to watch it again earlier this week but had to back after about 10 minutes.

"It's a little odd that I'm nervous about the idea of ​​looking at it – it's the work week – I do not have the time to have emotions." , she said. The series made him think of "the men I love in my life and the speed with which their lives can change for no reason.

Carter praised DuVernay for bringing up the subject, and she hopes all races – not just blacks – are watching "When They See Us".

She also said that she would try to review the series later this week. But only in the day.

"It's easier in broad daylight," she says. "When it's dark, it's scary."

I will try again too. Maybe this weekend. Maybe it's something that my son and I should watch and discuss together.