You are not the bad lady at work

Send your questions about office, money, careers and work-life balance to [email protected]. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters can be changed.

To help! I work with Covid Mary!

I work in a small office where everyone is vaccinated. I have diabetes, so I am careful before I contract Covid-19. A new part-time employee was hired and during her training the office manager asked her if she was vaccinated; she said she wasn’t. The management team were taken aback. They’re trying to find out if they’re going to force her to wear a mask all the time. She cannot work from home until she is well trained.

I’m trying to decide how to behave. Should I keep my office door closed? If she needs to talk to me, she must have a mask and I’ll wear one too. I’m not going to eat in the break room if she’s there. I will either eat at my office or eat after he leaves. The three employees share a bathroom. Can I ask her to clean the sink or do I just have to hide to get in? And do I have to clean the bathroom before I even use it?

I want to walk the line between protecting myself and not being the bad lady at work.

– Keren, Florida

Taking steps to protect yourself from a virus isn’t bad. I hear your concern, which is very valid. It’s a bit extreme asking her to clean the bathroom after using it or asking you to clean the bathroom before you use it. The risk of surface transmission is, according to the Centers for Disease Control, quite low. The coronavirus is spread mainly through respiratory droplets, so the best thing to do is wear a mask whenever she is nearby and insist that she wear a mask when she needs to talk or talk. ‘interact with you. I would also have hand sanitizer and sanitizer wipes in your office to keep your immediate work environment as clean as possible. You didn’t mention it in your letter, but did anyone ask this new employee if she was ready to get the vaccine? It seems unlikely, but you never know. Sometimes the easiest way is the most obvious way.

---

It’s me or her

I recently worked with a client who told me I looked “too young” to present my work when we first met and asked another teammate to do the final presentation. After I worked, the client changed her mind and said I had to co-present because even though my title didn’t convince her that I was capable, my job did. She apologized for her previous comment and said: “Don’t be offended, but you look like 16 years old.” I laughed and said, “I’m about twice as much.” She shared what specific characteristics made me look young. I held on, reminding him that I had a decade of work experience.

As we neared the end of the project, the client was happy with most of the work but disliked the results that were not flattering for her business. I stand by my results. She called my white co-worker, who she thinks was my boss (he’s not, and I actually have more experience than him) and my supervisor to modify these results and asked me to do not attend the final presentation. She was afraid that I would bring a “bad vibe”. Because I was the only one who worked on the project, I still had to attend internal meetings.

My supervisor took the opportunity to give me advice on how to be less abrasive. Even though he recognized that this was a difficult client, he said that I should learn how to handle these situations better. I told him that while I agreed with many of his observations, now was not the time to give this feedback because the client’s comments were explicitly ageist, implicitly sexist, and subtly racist. This conversation sounded like I was being punished for asking a client to respect me.

A few weeks after we completed this project, the client came back for more work. My boss accepted it. We agreed that I wouldn’t be involved, but I’m still hurt that my company chooses to engage with this client.

The day after I was told we would do more work for her, I gave my notice. My friends and family are divided that this is an overreaction. As I look for a job, I realize that I really love my company and the work I do, but I can’t stand the idea of ​​working for someone who chooses their clients over their own employees.

How do you think it could have been handled differently? Was quitting a job that I love after five years because of it an overreaction?

– Mei Lin, New York

Your former client was both difficult and extremely inappropriate. She clearly has some sort of chip on her shoulder. I have no idea why she was so persistent in making such rude comments about your appearance and, in turn, diminishing your work and professional accomplishments. His behavior was bad. Ideally, your business should have done more to support you and set limits around customer behavior. Your supervisor’s claim that you need to learn how to deal with bad customer behavior more effectively is a cop-out at best. That was a little subtle way of telling you that customers can pretty much get away with anything if they bring their business to your business.