Hi! How was your day? Oh me? Well I spent the morning scheduling a hand crank delivery to Updaam. Had lunch. I returned in the afternoon, deactivated a few turrets, then hid myself behind a trash can for a while. All this just to turn off an oxygen pump and suffocate a bubble bracelet that I could easily have pulled out in seconds. Tomorrow I might climb to the top of a three story building just to collapse, machete first, into the face of a guard who killed me once a few loops back. Hello. My name is Colt and I am the smallest protagonist in the existing video game.
In his Deathloop review, Brendy described Colt as “playing him up the ass.” I liked this line, but I still didn’t understand its true gravity. I am now enlightened. I saw Colt’s real ass and grasped the magnitude of it: Colt’s ass is the antithesis of Dishonored’s heart. Blame. Boot. Blame. None of you are free from sin.