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Thus, all these minutes of silence, expressions of sorrow and offers of condolence were useless.
"Basically," Fernando Nuno LaFuente told Seán O'Rourke on Wednesday morning, "I'm not dead."
But, he suggested, he was almost dying to laugh as he flipped through the front pages of the newspapers of the day.
the Daily Mirror had left with 'Ballybrack From The Dead', the Irish Daily Mail opting for 'Alive and Kicking!' L & # 39; examiner chose 'Player Back From Dead After Grave Mistake', with the Irish Daily Star go for "Guess who is Brack?" The first prize, however, must surely go to Irish sun for the beautiful 'One Footie in the Grave'.
"My work started sending me all these items," LaFuente said, "that's how I found out that I was dead."
It was reminiscent of Joe Duffy's conversation with Stephen Ireland's granny all these years ago.
Joe: "When did you find out you were dead, Patricia?"
Patricia Tallon: "When I saw the newspaper, Joe. It is not everyone who is alive who can see his death in the newspaper. I had a terrible shock. . . but thank God, I'm alive. "
Ballybrack's efforts to get his match against Arklow Town were canceled, informing officials at the Leinster Senior League that the Spaniard had died in a car accident. Some concluded that the Wicklow team must be as formidable as Brazil in 1970.
But LaFuente felt that Ballybrack was simply not able to form a team. His services were not available, not because he had died, because he had moved to Galway for work.
History has made the headlines of the international press, CNN having even taken over. But the people in the greenhouses and all that.
2014: "BREAKING: Former Brazilian footballer Pele dies at 74 years old."
Five minutes later: "Pelé's representative tells CNN he's alive and he's fine."
Although the story of Ballybrack is, well, somewhat different in that the announcement of death is made deliberately, the world of football has suffered greatly from an exaggerated number of death reports.
Bus driver
Only last year, for example, several media outlets picked up a fake article about Tony Yeboah's disappearance, while the former Ghana striker was actually strong and serious.
"Yeboah vehemently denied the rumor of his death," Savannah News of Ghana said, while you did not think it was necessary to do so "vehemently", the fact that the guy spoke to them would have been enough.
One of the best football-related events took place in 2015 when Romanian club FC Farul Constanta cried the death of his bus driver, Jean Podaru.
"The former Constanta player, Paul Peniu, paid a moving tribute.
"John was considered a big baby, sometimes dominated by negativity. Extraordinarily grumpy. Morose. He would be angry for little things. He was grumpy, gray, always something was wrong.
It was before their match that day that the stadium announcer had announced to the crowd the death of Podaru. A minute of silence was observed and the teams wore a black armband. At half-time there was another announcement.
"Good news: Jean Podaru is not dead!"
And he had it in his possession well too, the news came from Podaru himself, the guy probably then busy chasing down Peniu for this touching elegy.
But nothing surpbades the death of Fernando Nuno LaFuente. He even has a song dedicated to him now, courtesy of Today FM. Dermot and Dave. All together now:
"Have you heard the news Fernando?
Have you been surprised to learn of your pbading Thursday of last week?
We did not want to play Arklow,
So we told the Leinster League
That you left us tragically … "
[[[[Refrain]
"You are the Lazarus of Ballybrack,
we are so happy that you are back,
Fernando …… ".
But as the London TimesAaron Rogan tweeted: "I hope the league will play well with Ballybrack FC – it's just as if everyone was dead."
True.
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