The day my life changed forever, I woke up feeling a hangover and annoyed. Did I really need to go to this appointment at the hospital? I was 25 years old and I lived in London. I worked hard for recruiting and I had a lot of party time. I smoke, I drink and I am constantly on deck chairs.
In fact, it is after a tanning session that I have spotted it. A piece, standing out under the brilliant UV light.
"It's probably just a cyst," I assured my doctor while I was booked for a mammogram and a biopsy. I hardly thought about going on vacation to Benidorm, frying in the sun and flirting with men
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I listened to the words – mastectomy , chemo, herceptin, radiotherapy, 30% chance of survival – but it did not work until my mother took me home and we were sitting in the kitchen sobbing. there, I watched the tap drain for hours, imagining the life that I thought I had.All was canceled.
About fifteen days later, I had a mastectomy I was really looking forward to it, because I just wanted it to go away, when I woke up and saw a line of stitches where my right breast had summer, all I felt was a relief
What I really dreaded was the hair loss due to chemo.I had very expensive 22 inch extensions, and I tried to prepare myself by cutting my hair into a short bob. Shortly after, I was interviewing a candidate for work, and when I turned my hair around my fingers, all the tuft fell. In shock, I threw him under the desk and I hoped that he had not noticed it.
That night, a friend came to shave my hair while we drank whiskey. Feeling a little dizzy, I put on the beautiful wig that my mother had bought and my favorite dress. "Let's go out!" Said my friend. And we did it. This was the moment where I felt, 'I can do it! & # 39;
This gave me the confidence to set up a dating profile on the Internet. I knew that my time might be limited and that I had never known the fairy tale love that I had always dreamed of. It was also an escape from being horribly sick. In reality, I was sitting in a dressing gown, without a wig and tossed by steroids, but I could send emails to men, send messages on fun things rather than talking about my next appointment or my chemotherapy. 19659002] When I clicked on Sam's profile, I did not think he was my type. There were pictures of him sitting on a tractor. Clearly not one for a city girl like me. But then, I shot him with Katie Price. My idol! She had everything I did not have: big hair, big breasts, men. It was like a sign of angels.
The first time Sam phoned me, we talked for three hours. We had nothing in common, yet we never missed anything to say. He spoke to me about his job as a soldier and he really wanted to know for me too.
Our first appointment was the day after my last chemo session. I looked and felt awful, despite the piling up of my wig, my false eyelashes and my fake tan. But when I sat down with this tall, handsome man, I felt comfortable. When, by pure coincidence, he mentioned a project that he wanted to do for a charity against breast cancer, I took it as another sign. "Just so you know I went through breast cancer myself," I blurted out.
He was not at all confused. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "What do you think of that?" For an hour, he listened and asked all the right questions. His eyes never wandered to my chest. At the end of the day, he held my hand and I felt so happy and at peace. This could be The One.
Sam was the stone of Annie through her cancer treatments
We took things slowly and did not talk about the bloody details of my treatment. He told me all the time that I was beautiful. When I accidentally left my breast prosthesis on the floor and that he saw it, I was so embarrassed – how long had he known that I had only a breast? "I just assumed you had a mastectomy," he says. When I had the courage to tell him that I wore a wig, he simply said, "I know." He loved me like me.
He supported me by radiotherapy and herceptin. treatment, and took me when my sanity collapsed. Once I was no longer entrusted to NHS care, I had the impression of having an anxious worm in my head and I was constantly scared by everything from cancer returning to the simple answer on the phone. It took a lot of time and therapy to get through it. Sam was at my side for all the ups and downs.
He proposed to go on vacation to Gran Canaria in 2011 – with the engagement ring that I had economically saved as a screen saver. I was so happy to finally focus on the future, not on what we had gone through in the past.
We got married in 2012, and it was the perfect day. I had lost the three stones that I had put on the steroids and had undergone a grueling eleven-hour breast reconstruction operation so that I could wear my dream dress – like the one that Katie Price
was worn, of course. Any mention of You Know What has been banned – cancer has absolutely not been invited to our wedding. We just have the time of our lives, surrounded by people we love.
Walking in the alley with her uncle Chris
I had found my prince and now having a baby became my next mission . Poor Sam was tired of waking me up and throwing me on him! I had my eggs frozen before chemotherapy, but even before the fertility treatment was administered, I was pregnant naturally. I had terrible nausea throughout the day, but I have always enjoyed every moment. My body had already been close to death, and now it brought new life to the world. Joseph was born in 2014, and when his sister Rose arrived in 2016, our family was complete.
You never really understand cancer, but at my five-year appointment, I cried with joy of what are recurrent are very thin. I have been diagnosed for nine years now and I have written a book about my experiences, because I wanted to show that you can find happiness even in the darkest moments. This is not a sob story. Breast cancer put me in hell mentally and physically, but I would not have found the love of my life without it.
Breast Cancer: The Facts Every year, approximately 55,000 women are diagnosed in the United Kingdom. The disease claims more than 11,500 lives in the UK each year. However, thanks to new treatments and research, 78% of women now survive 10 years or more after diagnosis.
Annie Belasco is the author of Love & Remission (Trigger, € 11.99). Profits will go to the Shaw Mind Foundation for Mental Health.
