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NEW YORK (AP) – Sitting in my American suburban kitchen, it's easy to feel that Saudi Arabia is on the other side of the world, as events at the Saudi Arabian Consulate in Istanbul – as horrible as they seem to be now – have little to do with me.
Except for one thing.
Nearly 25 years ago, Jamal Khashoggi was my friend and mentor when I was a young journalist in Yemen as part of a scholarship for Islamic movements. I saw him in action and experienced his remarkable kindness and wisdom. He changed my life and may even have saved him.
At a time when cultural stereotypes are all too common and the #MeToo movement highlights how commonplace misbehavior is, Jamal was a gentleman and insightful guide in a crucial place and time.
It was the years leading up to September 11th that changed the world. In the heady and dangerous second half of 1994, Islamists – many of whom came from Osama bin Laden's training camps in Afghanistan – took over the civil war in Yemen. I was perhaps the only Western woman to cover the northern front of the war, where they led the fight.
I had the incredible chance to meet Jamal, who made sure to have access to everyone, from hardcore jihadists (some of them agreed to to speak with me only after Jamal has bravely stated that he will not talk to them unless he does). ) Sufis with a mystical tendency.
I have a picture of these days, taken by Jamal, where I was standing next to Tareq al-Fadhli, a Yemeni jihadist who had fought under Osama bin Laden's command in Afghanistan before becoming commander of front lines in Yemen. Jamal encouraged me to see this intimidating man as an ambitious and capable local leader, who was using the only way he knew to take over lands formerly run by his family. And Jamal was right: the man left the jihadist movement shortly after the end of the war to join the government.
At the end of 1994, Jamal was assured that I would be part of the Yemeni delegation at a religious conference in Sudan, where we celebrated my 30th birthday together (our birthdays were separated) at Khartoum Hilton. He bravely tried to convince bin Laden, who was there at the time, to let me interview him. (An unfaithful American? Even Jamal and his incomparable way of words could not convince bin Laden to move.)
I have never had the impression that Jamal had sympathized with his point of view and he certainly did not tolerate terrorism in any form. He was a well-connected journalist who was trying to understand the whole story and encourage other people, like me, to dig under the surface as well.
He seemed to have earned the respect of all parties, whether they were Islamists or leftists and laymen.
Jamal also had a playful tendency and a soft spot for electronic gadgets. He had the smallest Japanese tape recorder I've ever seen – about half of a deck of cards, with a microphone the size of a blueberry. And he was passionate about the Nintendo Game Boy. It seemed like he had all the models and all the games. Between our long discussions on Islam, he would expose the evolution of the games. He played them while waiting for interviews or a long drive through Yemen.
An unfaithful American blonde and a great Saudi fervent – we had to be a spectacle when we crossed Yemen, visited mosques and met with Islamic leaders of all stripes. Jamal protected me in dangerous areas while respecting my personal space.
He shared with me over and over again the many ways that Yemen reminded him of beloved Saudi Arabia from his childhood. I have never met anyone who loved his homeland more.
His adherence to the values of Islam and the depth of his desire to help foreigners like me understand the broad spectrum of Islamic ideologies were real. Before 9/11 and after, Jamal was an indispensable bridge between ever-changing political Islam, in all its iterations, and the West.
He was also ready to listen to the critics of Islam. On vacation in Yemen, Jamal went to a mosque, while myself, as well as dozens of Yemeni women, remained listening to the sermon sitting in the dusty streets outside. . It was a long sermon and as I went, I became more and more furious. "Why should 50% of the population cover themselves and be forced to sit outside because the other 50% of the population can not behave ?!" I shouted to him later.
I do not remember his answer. But he listened. And he understood my frustration.
A devoted family man, he has often spoken of his beloved wife and family. My heart is addressed to them and his fiancee, whom he planned to marry shortly after obtaining the document attesting to his divorce from the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul. He disappeared after entering the consulate on 2 October.
It is incredible that a man so adept at navigating in danger for so many decades, at once so brave in his reporting, so optimistic about humanity in general and so patriotic about of Saudi Arabia and its potential, so silently and cruelly silenced.
I would like more Americans to have the chance to know Jamal Khashoggi as I did that year.
As I sit in my kitchen now, wishing to be able to offer him coffee or a cup of tea, I see too clearly and painfully that he was not just another Saudi or another brave journalist. It was a caring human being who could have really been anyone's friend.
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Roth studied Islamic movements in the Arab world with a scholarship from the Institute of World Affairs today from 1993 to 1995. In 1995, she joined the Associated Press in New York, where she continues to contribute to independent reports.
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