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Photo: Martina Holmberg / TT
Screen cuts create relationship problems. Stock Photography.
Photo: Ruud, Vidar
The mobile phone can create an addiction. Stock Photography.
Who wants to be with someone who is just watching on a screen? Mobile addiction has become a problem for psychologists working with couples trying to repair their relationships.
Do you worry with your partner about how long is it acceptable to put on the phone or paddle? You are not alone.
According to Lisa Clefberg, a psychologist and psychotherapist, grief over the duration of screening is a common problem among party therapists.
"It can create uncertainty, jealousy and all kinds of problems, sometimes it seems like the partner is getting lost, I have several who have said that," Lisa said. Clefberg.
Madeleine Björn, a psychologist and registered therapist, also met couples who talked about screens.
Frustration and irritation
"Mobile addiction creates frustration and irritation in the other, and also gives the feeling of not being seen," said Madeleine Björn.
We live in a time when work and privacy go together because of phones and technology, which can cause concern.
– It will be a problem if you have different approaches over the phone. If one holds more than the other, the less active ones worry easily, says Clefberg.
The person who hangs up with their phone instead of their partner can also be perceived as not very useful to everyday tasks, moreover, as loyal and indifferent to the relationship.
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But mobile games, facebooking, twitter and instagraming can be a matter of addiction, just like addiction to the game. The phone is there all the time, right next door.
"If you feel that you're being forced into being human, it's an addiction – it's the reward system of the brain, which means that even if you decide not to make a you'll do it anyway, you may feel like you're resting when you play mobile games, for example, "says Madeleine Björn.
Fixing the phone can also blow up the jealousy – is it perhaps a matter of infidelity that prevents the partner from leaving the eyes of the phone?
"Many patients came in and snuck off on the phone, thinking that until something is found, it is not dangerous," Clefberg says.
Do not see us
Fixed screen fixation can often be reciprocal, explains Madeleine Björn.
– We experience frustration when others are fixed, but we do not see each other when we do the same thing.
Madeleine Björn and Lisa Clefberg consider screening strips as an expression that couples need to communicate better.
"I've never met anyone who came up with it as the only problem, it's more like a symptom of something bigger," Clefberg said.
The accusations lead nowhere
For Madeleine Björn, you have to talk about problems and do it in a constructive way, as for any other relationship problem.
"It's easy to blame the other, but you're pretty smoked, you will not be charged with fees.
Instead, couples must learn to express their needs and desires.
– Maybe you can also have a clear agreement, now we're skipping phones and screens at these times. It could be good too, not just a sacrifice, "said Madeleine Björn.
Lisa Clefberg also advises her patients to try to find a consensus on their use of the phone. Nevertheless, you must also simply realize that you are different, think Lisa Clefberg.
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