Conversation Tips – Mental Health

Talk to anyone about, about (almost) anything! Here are the tips for speaking well, both at work and in private relationships.

– So it's still raining? Ask a woman in what you just wet in the waiting room of the doctor's office. You've never seen it before, but answer politely: – Yes! Guess about while you hug the umbrella together.

The woman who asked would have easily been able to look out the window and quickly find the weather conditions herself. But as she asked you instead, you start a little conversation.

But why do we really talk about rain, wind and "nothing" with strangers?

Can not we just let others be at peace and keep our minds to ourselves?

How to become a social winner

Important smallprats

The answer is that the little conversation, or the little conversation, is so much more than superficial statements about the weather.

In fact, the cat is very useful in most social contexts. Small snacks that we just do not get out of, whether at work, in the business, at the store, or at the doctor's office.

This can open the door to new friendships, new jobs, partners, acquaintances or simply help make the day a little more social.

Sometimes it's all about "surviving" a seminar, a wedding party where you only know the bride and sit at the table with strangers for hours or with a family with relatives you do not have not seen for a long time.

Away from everyone feels so comfortable with this little snap.

Fortunately, everyone can learn a little conversation and avoid embarrassing and quiet moments in situations where it was actually more enjoyable and useful to use the conversation!

Read also: You hardly know what introvert and extrovert mean

The ignition key

Thomas Leikvoll, in collaboration with Erling Arvola, wrote the book "Small Talk – How to speak the most with the most".

As a programmer and journalist for many programs on TV2 and TV3, he just can not help but talk to most of them.

-In the book, we talk about finding the key of contact. That is, a theme or interest that captures the conversation partner and with which you can easily interact, says Leikvoll.

The smoke rate is not easy

"To find this key contact, you must start by talking about general topics, but that still invite you to go further," said Leikvoll.

-Use the context that you encounter as a starting point. For example, you can ask questions such as: Do you like music / music tonight? Have you played an instrument yourself? Do you attend concerts / festivals? What is your best / worst musical experience? What do you think of food? Do you like to cook? Have you found interesting dishes / restaurants in the past? Contraband is not necessarily simple – even for those who like it, Leikvoll comforts.

Make it a competition

But if you can start and hold a conversation, the first rule is to wake up and try.

– Take up the challenge and set yourself goals: how many new people should I talk to tonight? Can I discover two new personal information about a person I have never met before? In other words, do some competition for yourself, he advises.

"You have to tell yourself that others feel very grateful to have taken the initiative not to have to do it.And if you fail, it is the other person who has a problem, not you.You at least tried and kept your head up.

Read also: Check if you have social anxiety

Sure to ask

Sometimes small pizzas are just something you need to do.

On mandatory occasions, such as a business meeting or a birthday party with a distant relative, you may want to be home alone in front of the television rather than talking about the cakes served.

If you want to survive in a tiring social context, Leikvoll thinks it's good to ask questions to keep talking.

-Please ask and answer the answer if you miss it. If not, ask a new question. For example:

"I just arrived, did anything happen before I came?"

"I've never been here before.

"Will there be animations and music after?"

"I like / do not like dancing."

Avoiding death and corruption

What should not we talk about?

– Avoid becoming too personal too quickly. In other words, stay away from topics such as death, divorce and diseases. Admittedly, the tone is not easy and sinister and the topics are discussed at that time, says Leikvoll.

He adds that it is usually always prudent to ask questions to the person to talk to and gradually share one's own experiences and lives.

Read also: How to improve self-esteem and self-esteem

Creates contact and trust

That we dare to discuss, Birgitte Sally agrees.

She has written two books on gossip and owns the Danish company Sally Kommunikation, which runs courses on relationship and communication.

In her latest book, Take Contact, Sally explains how to improve your conversation.

She says that if you improve your ability to build relationships and build trust, you will be able to use small businesses as a strategy and well in many social contexts, such as contact with your neighbor, your boss, your colleagues, and others. other networks.

Make professional life better

Sally thinks that in the workplace, small trails simply make life better.

Nevertheless, it is now that someone thinks it's a bit scary to carry on a conversation with someone you do not know.

Sally, who is educated in psychotherapy, believes that it is natural to feel this. But you can be better attacked by both fear and speech if you practice.

– The fear of rejection lies deep within the man. You're better at talking, the more you train, says Sally.

To dare to be banal

– What advice would you like to give to those who feel bad about chatting? And how can they start a conversation?

– Have the courage to be commonplace. Use all the free information that surrounds you. Location, opportunity, buildings, weather, photographs, art, nature – everything you look around you can comment, says Sally.

– Current topics can also include work, family, hobbies, education and future activities, she adds.